Busy living a fulfilling life :)

I thought I would post more entries now that my life isn't so crazy busy and stressful. However, now the opposite thing has happened but with the same results: now my life is full of blessings and fun, so that I never think "I should post an entry" because I am off doing other fun things. :)

Things have been great. I have been teaching at two Universities and I am so blessed to be a college teacher. My Carroll students were taking their final exam, with their heads bent over their work, and I just smiled and thought: "Even if they don't like the course, they all LEARNED something in it! From me!" I have found that there is nothing more satisfying than spreading knowledge.

I had a terrific Thanksgiving break, in which I did Christmas baking, had an amazing steak dinner with my beloved Paul, decorated for Christmas, played board games with my beloved and read books for fun. That's right! I am reading books for fun again! I didn't think I would be able to read for fun again for a few more years (for those that don't remember: graduate school had me reading hundreds of books each semester, and something happened that I never thought was possible: I got sick of reading!), so I am very pleased to be able to enjoy reading again. Paul and I went to the library this past weekend and got plenty of books to read over Christmas break. I am excited to start!

We are very eager to go on Christmas break. I am officially done after today, but now I have loads and loads of laundry to do (the laundry needed to be done since Thanksgiving break, but I kept putting it off!) and packing and cleaning so that we can leave. Depending on the weather, we are either leaving for lovely Michigan/Home on Tuesday night or Wednesday morning. I am hoping we leave on Tuesday night, since I prefer night driving (less traffic in Chicago) and we have a Christmas party on Wed. night, and I don't want to rush around a lot. We are in Michigan until Christmas. Then, on the 26th, we are leaving for South Carolina with my parents.

This trip is half-pleasure and half-scoping the area. We are hoping that (1) My parents find jobs down there and want to move (2) We find that we like the area as well so that we can get more serious about researching homes/jobs so that we can move down there too.

We hate Milwaukee. This city is not meant for us to live permanently. We are so eager to get out of this crappy city, that we are contemplating giving the govn't back the 8,000 bucks we got from them as first home buyers (in order to keep the money, you need to live in your home for 3 years at least) and just move to South Carolina sooner rather than later. The next two years should be interesting for us. My dream would be to see my whole family and my friends live in South Carolina near me. I am tired of being away from them all, and it is probably never possible to move back to Michigan because no one there is hiring.

Well, time to put in yet another load of laundry! This is day two of laundry (both days I started right away in the morning and stopped at bedtime), and I think I will still be doing laundry tomorrow as well! Maybe someday I will stop being so lazy about getting this stuff done. :)

tomboy fashion problems

UGH.
Sometimes, I hate that I am naturally a tomboy. I sometimes wish that I had been born like most average females, with the mentality that wearing dresses, ribbons, lace, and pink is fun and pretty.
Instead, I was born already being a fiery, stubborn lass that wants to be different. I want to be different in my mentality, my dreams and goals and also in how I dress. You see, I have always thought that female clothes and fashions were varied mixes of: immodest, uncomfortable, unimpressive, bland, and ordinary. Especially the first two, immodest and uncomfortable.

Women wear lots of clothes that are: thin fabrics, clingy fabrics, low-cut shirts, short short skirts/shorts, skin-tight, accessory-dependent, etc. It's so frustrating. I guess I am one of very very few females in this world that does not want to be uncomfortable. Think about all the times you have seen females pulling on their clothes because they are so uncomfortable.

Now think about guys. Sigh. Guys are so smart about fashion. Just jeans and a t-shirt. Nothing crazy. Just nice, loose clothing. They wear their shorts long and loose, so that they are comfortable. They wear loose shirts -even dress shirts don't usually cling to guy bodies- so that they are comfortable. They even wear comfortable swimming trunks. While it is true that guy fashion is starting to look more uncomfortable (aka feminized), guys can still just wear jeans and a t-shirt and it's still a popular and typical look.

Then there is me. I am a female that *gasp* wants to be COMFORTABLE in the clothes that I wear! I am unique in that way, I guess. I have, since I can remember, preferred guy clothes to female ones for the very reason of modesty and comfortableness. For example, I don't understand why girl shirts have to cling to bodies while guy shirts can be loose. However, I can admit it easily: guy clothes make me look frumpy. Why? Because the shirt linings are farther spaced at the shoulders (because guys have broader shoulders) and the jeans/pants/shorts are made...um, for guy anatomy parts, so they are bunchy in weird places on me. I have dealt with this frumpiness because, even though I spend hours at the mall every year, I have yet to find female fashions that are comfortable. (Every year I hope for a change, and alas, the changes in fashion do not get more comfortable).

But now I am more frustrated than before. You see, I thought that maybe the internet would save me from my frustrations with fashion. I thought that maybe there would be some awesome tomboy fashion site, that simply took guy clothes and made them fit female body shapes better. But apparently, I am alone in this large world for desiring comfortable female clothes. If you don't believe me, simply google 'tomboy fashion' and here are a few things you will see:

Notice that the seven-lady picture shows women in skirts. Why would tomboys wear this? I cannot think of anything more uncomfortable than a skirt. I hate how paranoid I get about my skirt being stuck in my underwear, or my skirt getting ripped or my skirt flying up and showing off my underwear or me tripping and my skirt rising up and showing off my underwear, etc. Skirts are awful. This google image is a lie. This is NOT tomboy fashion! The next image is not better. The first lady is wear skin-tight jeans with crazy looking heels. NOT tomboy fashion! The middle lady is either wearing a short skirt or short shorts. This is not comfortable! This is NOT tomboy fashion! And look at those heels! The third lady is the closest to a tomboy, but her shirt is too lowcut and her pants are still too tight. How did she even get those pants over her feet?

Not only am I apparently the only person on the planet that wants comfortable, loose guy-like clothes made for a woman's body, but I also seem to be the only female who does not want to look like a slut on the beach. I hate female bathing suits so much. I have never worn one to the beach, not even as a teenager, without shorts and a t-shirt over it. I struggled for years trying to figure out how to have fun on the beach and still wear a bathing suit, since t-shirts and shorts get soaking wet and are uncomfortable in the water. Surely, I thought, SOMEONE has a website selling bathing-suit material modest clothes?! Alas, I found nothing. I found some sites for muslim or mormon women bathing suits. They are dresses for the water. Ugh. Why on earth would I want to wear a dress?!? I then thought that maybe surfer websites would have tomboy swimming suit ideas. Alas, I can get girl surfer shorts, that are super short and incredibly skin tight. Why would I want this?!? I found a temporary solution, but it still does not make me happy: I wear guy swimming trunks with a female exercise top (that dries quickly b/c it's suppose to be sweat proof). The female top is still too clingy and way too low cut, but it's the best I can find.

Why did I just write this entire, very long post/rant? Because I am begging the world to please start noticing tomboys. I am certain that I am not the only female that wants to be comfortable. But we will never know how many tomboys exist out there if we cannot join up and beg the fashion community for clothes. If anyone has been interested in making their own fashion business, well, I have good news. There is a HUGE gap in the tomboy fashions! You could start your own business in that field and have no competitors! Everyone, please tell everyone else you know to spread the word: I am a tomboy and I want clothes! Cloth me! I have money! I would be a great customer! You don't even have to be very creative if you don't want! Just simply copy guy fashions and make them adaptable for female bodies. It's so simple.

So please, help me. I want to be comfortable for once.

My Fall Schedule

For the first time ever, I have an actual, official job! Woo hoo! See you later, unbelievably long and tiresome homework assignments! No more being haunted day and night about homework, and feeling homework guilt during my rest times! No more nightmares about pleasing the professors and worrying about getting those well-deserved 'A's'.
For the first time ever, I took a huge risk and quit that horrid grad school without a back-up plan. I trusted God and as always, He took care of me.
I have signed the contracts, and for this semester, I am teaching:
History 103 (Ancient Roots of Western Civilization) at Carroll University
*and*
Three classes at University of Phoenix:
Two courses of Humanities 186 (Media Influences on American Culture)
One course of Humanities 105 (World Mythology)

This is huge for me. I am teaching college! My dream, my goal for the last 8-10ish years, has finally come true. Granted, I will always be concerned about not getting enough classes each semester, but right now, I am just incredibly thankful to God for letting my dreams come true. I think the Life Lesson here is that if you want something enough, if you work hard at that goal and trust God completely, anything is possible. :)

It should be a pretty good work load for me. The first time teaching a class is always the hardest. Then, after that, you have lesson plans to work off of. I think if I work hard from approx. 9-3pm everyday (Monday-Friday), all of my work should get done. Then I can *gasp* have weekends off and nights off doing hobbies and hanging out with my hubby and friends! Woo hoo!

Fueled and Ready

Well, it's been too long again. That's because I've been busy again. Sigh...someday, I hope I can write a blog in here about how boring life is and how everything is going by really slow. :)

Anyway, We did our annual camping trip, interspersed with taking care of my mother who had foot surgery and other social events. I went sailing alot this year as well as daily playing volleyball and swimming and board games! It was wonderful. We went to a terrific church service: with organ music! and a psalter hymnal! and the lord's prayer! and the apostle's creed! and *gasp* a beautiful communion service!
Being back in Michigan was just so refreshing. I didn't realize how...empty I've been since moving to Milwaukee:
**Spiritually:
Since moving to Milwaukee, I have been disgruntled in some way at every service at every church we have visited. Then I would feel guilty about being disgruntled. Then we would give up trying churches. Then we would feel guilty. Then we would go to a new service. And the cycle would continue. I haven't had communion since moving to Milwaukee because they do not appreciate the sacred and sovereign nature of this ritual. The services here either have the theory: "Come on up during a song, get in line, and just grab some stuff and go!" or "Communion is available whenever you want, it's on that table in the corner. Just get up and grab some and go!" Ugh. At the Michigan service, it was just like it should be: elders and deacons were given the trays from the pastor, chosen for their spirituality to do this special task. After the pastor said beautiful words from the Bible *gasp* about the importance of the Lord's Supper, the bread and drink were passed solemnly to all of God's people, with plenty of time for silent prayer in between and followed by the apostle's creed. Sigh...how beautiful. The service made me realize that I had been "running on fumes" for way too long. Suddenly, I went from fumes to overflowing with the Holy Spirit! It was overwhelming. It was beautiful. I cried multiple times that day and I smiled more than I have in a very long time. I want that again! I don't want to wait to feel the tingle of the Holy Spirit coursing through my entire body. It is such an overpowering feeling of wonder!
**Emotionally:
The culture is so different in Michigan from Milwaukee. In Milwaukee, I always feel so...lonely. No one cares about me. No one here asks me about my day. When I ask them about theirs, sometimes they ask me about mine in return. However, the moment I start talking about myself, they stop paying attention. It is so rude. It hurts every time. The only person who ever made me feel appreciated here in Milwaukee was from the south! And she couldn't stand it anymore and promptly moved back! I hate how lonely I am here. I hate how no one cares. In addition, no one in Milwaukee accepts me for who I am. I am: Passionate, loving, stubborn, opinionated, loyal, and observant. When I am myself, people ALWAYS get annoyed in Milwaukee! But they don't tell me. They just stop talking to me in mid-sentence and get all cold and bitchy. HOWEVER, in Michigan, people always ask me about my life! I even got to the point where I was sick of talking about myself over and over! Sigh...what a wonderful complaint to have: too many people cared about me! About my interests, my job, my goals! They listened! They asked questions! They showed me love and respect! And most of them love me for who I am! They support me and love me even though I am so stubborn and opinionated! I acted like myself and people smiled and hugged me and told me that they love me!
**Physically: Paul and I had so many people to play sports with over here in Michigan! It was so nice to be active: NO ONE wanted to just hang out in bars. In fact, no one talked about bars at all!

It was so wonderful to fill up spiritually, emotionally, and physically in Michigan. It was so hard to come back. I already feel lonely again. I miss my loved ones. I hope the next place we live is better. I wish I could just take everyone I love from Michigan with me wherever I go. :)
I suppose my prayer requests should be mentioned here: (1): I pray that God will allow Paul and I to find a good church around here...even though we haven't yet after living here for three years. (2): I pray that God will allow us to meet kind, loving people to become our close friends. I want to have best friends here so bad. I want to be able to be myself. And still be loved! (3): I pray that if God lets us meet new people, that these people love staying active like we do: it leads to so much healthier of a lifestyle!

Well, I had more to say, so I will write again soon. I promise. :)
~Raven

Busy busy busy

I haven't written in a while because, surprise surprise, I have been super busy. We went on vacation starting June 18 and got back on July 8! It was a bit too long away from home in my opinion, but it was also very nice. We went home to Michigan for a day or two, then left for florida. Paul, me, Greg, Rick, and Kyle stayed in a beachfront condo for two weeks in Florida. That's right, me and four boys! whew. It was actually not that bad, though the place was a bit small, so I saw every one of the guys in just their boxers at one point which is...a bit awkward, I must say. Anywho, we spent almost all of our time fishing. Despite the myth from midwestern people, Florida is NOT unbearably hot, at least not while we were down there. It was fine, especially since we were on the water. I caught a shark, which was very exciting and Paul caught a cobia "catch of a lifetime". I've been talking about our trip so much, though, that I am weary of the conversation. So I will fast forward. We took the train from Michigan to Milwaukee which was...interesting. We will probably take it again because it was cheap, but the first time was pretty stressful. They are not very organized.
Yesterday, I had people over to the house. Paul was not home due to a camping trip with his students. So I had Abby, Emily, Lindsay, Jack, Rick, and Nic over for dinner/snacks and games. It was a very pleasant night full of flights from bees, good conversation, good food, and great kareoke fun. :)
Today I might go to the dog park with Rick and our brood of dogs. It will be good exercise for everyone involved. Then I pick up Paul from his long trip! I can't wait to see him again. Alot has happened since he left three days ago: our basement filled with water, people came over, and I had another interview with another school! I will post more later, if I get the job. :)

An interview process

I thought I would write out the interview process that I just went through in order to remind myself about it later as well as let others know what a crazy hassle it is to become a college professor.
1) In April, I did the typical online application with cover letter, resume, etc. for University of Phoenix.
2) Two weeks-ish later, Univ. of Phoenix emailed me and told me that my qualifications looked promising...so far. They had me fill out a more specific online application, with questionaires, sample syllabi, essays on my philosophy of education, etc.
3) In May, UoP emailed me again and said that the new information I gave was good and promising and set up a phone interview with me. I prepared through research on phone interview processes as well as knowing everything that I could about the school. The phone interview went GREAT and I made sure to have good questions to ask about the school.
4) On June 17, UoP had set up a time for me to come for a person to person interview. First, I was interviewed by two faculty assessors about my philosophy of education and whatnot. Then, I made a 12-15 mintue presentation to "teach" the 5-8 people in the room to show off my teaching skills. (I worked hard on this presentation for at least a week, and it was 16 minutes long, but they cut everyone off after 6 minutes! All that hard work...sigh..) Then, we had a leaderless group activity so that I could show that I "play well with others". IT was an exhausting 3 hour process.
5) HOWEVER, the entire long, complicated process from beginning to end was totally worth it because: I GOT THE JOB!!! Well, technically. I have to go to class/workshops this summer to get certified. However, I know this will be fine. Basically, I am a faculty of University of Phoenix! I don't know how many classes I will get, or if I can ever count on having some classes, but it's a start in the right direction!

I am so happy that my friends and family have been praying for me. I have been concerned about my future, but I have always counted on God to protect me. Thank you to everyone who has constantly been supporting me. I love you all so much. :)

Things are Good

Life has been super awesome lately. True, I had originally planned on doing all of the chores around the house that I was not able to do while in school, and really all I am doing is relaxing and being lazy, BUT, I keep telling myself that I deserve it after a terrible school year.

I had an amazing weekend with Paul and friends. On Friday, Rick, his gal-pal Nic, Paul and I played tennis. It was great to do a fun activity and get some social time in with my peeps. After some great rounds of tennis, we played board games and watched a movie. On Saturday, Paul and I went to a flower store to fill in the gaps around the house. Hopefully, these perennials come back, and then our house will be perfect. (However, this also means that I won't have any plants to research for next year, and I really like doing that) We also went "fishing" with Rick for the rest of the day. I put that in quotes b/c the lake that we went to only had bluegills that were about four inches long, so Rick and Paul caught a combo of 33 fish. However, I despise fishing for bluegills, so even though I had intended on fishing, I quit after about an hour. Still, it was fun watching the boys fish and I just breathed in the fresh air and contemplated my happy state of existence. :) On Sunday, Paul and I finally celebrated our wedding anniversary. We got married on May 13, but we are almost always busy on that day (especially since it is at the end of my semester all of the time). Anywho, we went canoeing for four hours on a slow moving river. It was wonderful to get all of that fresh air, although my back was in much pain by the end of our river adventure.
After a fantastic weekend, I had to deal with jury duty crap. I was pretty annoyed to find out I was summoned for jury duty. I had assumed that it was like Michigan, where jury members are picked from the voters. Thus, I purposely did not register to vote in Wisconsin. However, here in WI, they pick jurors from their drivers licenses. Like I said, I was very ticked off. After taking a grad class on the history of law, crime, and justice, I learned to have no respect for the U.S. law system (i.e. a variant of Common Law) and instead I prefer the Roman law system of the majority of the rest of the world. Anywho, so here I was, in a cramped and crowded and very uncomfortable room. They made us watch a movie with animated cartoon american flags and patriotic songs and slogans about "pride in our democratic institution" and "civic duty" and other nauseating jabber. Just as I am about to puke from the propaganda and blindly-devoted patriotism, a lady comes in and tries to guilt everyone to donate blood. Well guess what lady, some people can't donate blood and don't deserve a guilt trip (like me). So I was grumpy AND uncomfortable. When I was finally lined up to go into the court (after sitting in an uncomfortable chair from 9am-2:30pm), I learned a new lesson about our law system: Lawyers and Judges are not always intelligent. I may not have liked our law system before, but I at least had respect for the intellect of judges and lawyers. But they were terrible. At the end, they asked the jury if anyone was not interested in serving, and I quickly raised my hand. I was the only one! Even though everyone complained on the way to the courtroom about jury duty, when we were given a chance to get out of it, no one bothered! Since I raised my hand, I got out of it and now I am safe in Wisconsin for four years. *whew* I am glad we will be out of here by then. I don't know if I will always luck out like I did this time.
Other than jury duty, I have been planting my flowers, cleaning, researching recipes, and other light chores. But mainly I am still relaxing and having fun. Tomorrow, I shall start looking at employment stuff. For now, however, I will sleep sweet, non-stressful dreams without a care in the world. :)

A few of my Favorite Things

I don't know how I managed it, but I survived the semester! I am still pretty exhausted and my body cannot seem to relax. It has become a habit to be stressed starting the moment I wake up, so it might take a while for me to unwind completely. In celebration of my freedom from the academic world, at least for a few months, I decided to remind myself of a few of my favorite things in the world:

My fave foods/beverages:
*blackberries and raspberries
*limeade
*tomatoes!!!
*CHEESE!
*Gin and tonics with a twist of lime

My fave activities:
*taking care of my flowers
*sewing
*playing Sims 2
*playing board games
*playing video games
*making t-shirts with Paul
*hosting dinner parties
*walking with my dog and husband
*MUSIC: playing instruments, singing, listening to a huge variety of songs
*FISHING!

My fave people:
*My sweet, sweet Paul
*My family: Moms, Dads, sister-in-laws, brothers, bro-in-laws, AND my two NEPHEWS!
*My friends: Rick, Julie, Cindy, Staci, Abby and my Small Group
*My dog Athena...not a person, but very dear to me.
*My Extended family: I miss them all so very much.

My fave dreams/goals:
*Catch alot of fish this summer
*Get into shape
*Get a job
*Explore Europe
*Take a bunch of cruises
*Move out of this crappy state
*Take time to tell my loved ones how important they are to me

I'm a Zombie...can I have your brain?

*Whew*
I am getting to the end of the semester. I have less than two weeks to go! Today I realized it was May 1, and I panicked. I still have so much to do for school before the end, which is May 13!
This past week, I wrote two papers, read 8 books, and graded 75 essay exams.
Here is what I have left:
*25-ish page paper for my medieval class on: "Continuity versus Change: Working Women in Early Modern Germany" I have all the books read and my notes done and my outline is complete. I just have to sit down for a few days straight and write until my fingers fall off.
*20-ish page paper for my early modern class, this one isn't too bad. It's just a historiography paper based on my notes from class on violence, crime, and justice.
*Presentation on my medieval paper. I am not looking forward to this. We have to make a fancy presentation, which I think it ridiculous and a waste of my time.
*Read one more book for my American Revolution class. Woo hoo! That is all left for this class!
*Grade 75 quizzes (essay format)
*Grade 75 final exams (essay format) I am so sick of grading!
*Input all the grades into the official format. This is the worst. I haven't finished inputting their grades from extra credit and discussion sections, so I have to put them all in and then go from there.

I am getting there. But I can't believe I have only 12 more days to do all of this! :(
What a negative post. Don't worry, though. Once I am done with this semester, my posts will be SO much happier!

Fishing on the brain

Life is currently moving along quite nicely. I could use some prayers, though. I applied to a bunch of colleges to work! I don't know if I will get anything, but it's worth a shot. One school has emailed me three times now, and wants to do an online interview. That might just mean I would be put into their large pool of "acceptable adjuncts" but I will consider that an honor! :)
Besides filling out application after application, my life has been centered on fishing and friends. Yes, I still have school. And after wednesday of this week, my life will center only on work once again (sigh...) but last week, I enjoyed myself a bit. Paul had the week off, and we did some more yard work and had a lovely Asian-themed dinner party with Benji, Abby, and Rick. We played board games after and it was good food too...that Paul cooked! :)
Um, let's see. I am still getting over a nasty two week cold. And I love teaching.
I don't have much else to say right now, so off I go to do a bit more work and then get some lovely sleep...

Easter Break

I have been enjoying my Easter break. Alot! It started out on a great note on Wednesday, when my students informed me that not only did I have thursday and friday off for Easter, but I also had Monday off! This was an unexpected blessing. There is nothing better, I think, then getting a surprise day off from work! :) I decided to celebrate the good news by taking some time off from my work to relax. It has been wonderful and greatly needed!
On Thursday, I slept in til 10:30am, partly because I have been sick and the extra sleeping helped me feel much better. I watched some TV, made cookies, cleaned a bit, and played my Sims 2 for a few hours. When Paul got home from school around 4pm, we went shopping and out to dinner. We then came home and watched an old movie with Chevy Chase called "Fletch". It was hilarious and I have nothing but praise for it!
On Friday, Paul started his spring break, so we actually had a school break at the same time! This has never happened since I started grad school (well, I suppose we share a few days off at Christmas...). I spent the morning changing the decorations in our house from winter stuff to spring stuff. It was a nice change. Then we went flyfishing together. It was our first time flyfishing, so we went on the Milwaukee river in an area away from the other fishermen so that we could learn. Flyfishing is a more talented kind of fishing, so it takes alot of practice. :) Of course, we didn't catch anything, b/c we were not near the fish (the fishermen all know the right places to actually catch the fish and we didn't want to be near them yet). But we spent a few pleasant hours wading in the river and soaking up the sun and getting to be pros at the art of flyfishing. It was SO relaxing! We are planning on going again on Monday, but this time to actually catch fish. We shall see what happens.
When we got back from fishing, we then went crazy working hard on our yard. Paul raked up debris, leaves, and dog poop while I destroyed the tiger lilies on the side of our house. We thought they were ugly flowers last spring, so I worked digging up the bulbs. It was hard work, but our yard is looking great! One or two more days of hard labor, and our yard will be perfect for the spring and summer. :)
After that, we went to a church activity for free pizza and then hung out with friends. Thus, a perfect day of me/Paul-only time, hard work on the house, and social time with friends.
Now, I am working on my homework again. It's hard to get back into it since I was enjoying my tw0 days off so much! Still, I have a few more nice hours ahead of me on my next two days off from school. Tomorrow is Easter, and a friend's family invited everyone over who doesn't have family in the area. So me, Paul, and two other friends from out of town are gathering together for an Easter dinner with someone else's family. I am touched at their kindness.
On Monday, Paul and I will fish again in the morning, and then I will work the rest of the day. Boo! Still, I must look forward to the good parts of the next few days, and rejoice that God has blessed me with a good home, great family/friends, and a wonderful husband! :) Happy Easter, Everyone!

School school school

I haven't written in a while and the reason is: School.
I also haven't: cleaned my house, done any chores, done my hobbies like sewing, knitting, playing piano and saxophone, playing guild wars with Paul, entertained guests at our home, read for fun, gone fishing, played with my dog, and various other things all because of: School.

The other day, Paul and I were talking and he asked me why I haven't played music in a long time. I told him that once school was done in May, I planned on doing everything that I love, including music. He (very gently and kindly) asked me if perhaps I use school as an excuse to stop living life. It was a good question.

I have also considered this question. I know that I always tell myself "I'll do such and such when school is done". Lately I have often wondered if this is true. Will I really live a more relaxing life when I am done with school? Who am I? Am I a workaholic? Am I a boring person who works during the day (and night) and sleeps a little in between? Will my strong personality and strong passions become revitalized this summer? These questions haunt me in between study-times. I am incredibly curious about what will happen when school ticks down in May. Seven more weeks of school before I find out who I am without it. It is quite nerve-wracking and I could use some prayers. The only thing I know for certain about myself is that I love God and Paul. I am ready to discover more...seven more weeks.

Because I always have an opinion...about everything

Two things happened yesterday or this morning that made my brain go crazy with opinions. Since I have nothing serious to write about right now, I thought I would share my silly opinionated self on random tangents in my life. :)

#1) The Winter Olympics
This morning, the radio guy explained that NBC, who rather hesitatingly decided to host the winter olympics, made tons and tons of money on the Olympics this year, and that this winter olympics were the most watched winter event EVER.
My rant: Well of course NBC made off great with the Olympics. Did anyone else notice that ALL of the networks stopped running normal shows during the entire thing?!?! No one says that it's because of the Olympics, but this week all of my fave shows are starting up again. I smell controversy!!! I think NBC secretly controls all of the other networks and forced them to stop putting on shows. That way, everyone was FORCED to watch those boring and lame olympics because there was nothing else on!!! Is this the end of capitalism as we know it?!?! Dun dun dun... :) Just to let you all know, this probably won't surprise you a bit, but since I figured the networks weren't putting on my shows to force me to watch the olympics, I refused to watch a single event!!! Yeah, take that, networks! I refuse to be pushed around! Laugh, oh boy, I can't believe I have such an opinion on this, but that's just my personality. I suppose the real concern here should be that I have so many fave shows and that I was going crazy without them... :)

#2) Fantastic Mr. Fox-the movie
Yesterday night, Paul and I watched Fantastic Mr. Fox. I was skeptical, since it was a cartoon movie with ugly animations, which I normally dislike. However, Paul told me that it got rave reviews from the critics, so we watched it. I must admit, parts of it were delightfully and surprisingly funny. Overall, as an ADULT movie, it was great. However, cartoons aren't normally made for adults, and I am unsure who the audience was supposed to be for this film. Was this supposed to be a children's movie? Because if so, I am incredibly concerned about what this movie says symbolically about the future generation of America. First, I raised a brow at the movie's casual and funny protrayal of murder. Mr. Fox kills the chickens in a humorous atmosphere. I can't remember a Disney movie or other cartoon movie that was so happy-go-lucky about murder. Second, the movie is lighthearted about stealing. Unlike Robinhood, who steals for a "right" reason (which is a debatable children's topic anyway), Mr. Fox steals b/c he wants to get rich quick and has all sorts of lame excuses for why stealing is okay. And he never learns a lesson about why stealing is wrong! Third, "animal instinct" is mentioned over and over. Are the directors trying to make a theme in the movie about the animalistic ways of humanity? Are they praising this aspect of humanity? I don't know what to think about that. Finally, I had a HUGE problem with the casual usage of swearing. The directors/writers try to make light of swearing by saying "cuss" instead of an actual swear word. Example: Mr Fox: "Why the cuss are the farmers trying to cussing kill us?!" While this is possibly humorous as an adult movie theme, I do not think this is right for a children's film. It is making light of the severity of swearing and it happens so much in the movie, that I am concerned kids will start quoting it! Swearing is a problem in our society, and I don't think a movie (the way to connect with kids these days) should make it seem funny to swear. So if you have kids, you might not want them to see this movie. Or maybe I am exaggerating. I suppose it would be a great movie to debate with your kids. Watch it as a family, enjoy the good parts, and then talk about the bad parts. Anyone who reads this, please let me know what you think.

Well, that is enough of my silly, lighthearted rants for the day. :)
~Cris

Brooding

I won't get into details, but for the first time in my life I am struggling with accomplishing my goals in a way that works with reality. While thinking about my goals, I am getting pressured from all sides. In the midst of confusion and chaos, I am starting to forget what I originally wanted. Does it matter anymore? Should I follow a trend? What do I want in life?
A) The easy way, with lots of money, so that I can retire early. A life with no extra thinking, just go through the motions...but with lots of money.
B) The hard way, with little money and no foundation, but a (possibly) happier and thought-provoking lifestyle...but additional stress.
C) The harder way, with a slight promise of more future rewards, but in the meantime, no social life, no leisure time, little money, but the end result of following my (old?) dreams...

It's a dark, brooding semester for me because of all of this. Please pray for me and Paul as we discuss my (our) future.
~Cris

Pet Peeves

Issue #1
Okay, so I don't like to gossip or be catty. But I really have to complain about some things that are bothering me, and I figure: if I can't whine on my own blog than I will start whining in my journal book again. It's one or the other. And this is easier.
I hate it when people are so obsessed with their phones. I think it is very rude when you are hanging out with people and they all take their phones out and start texting other people. I don't know if anyone learns manners anymore, but I think children should learn different manners now than back when I was growing up. And I think most of the new mannerisms that these kids should learn deal with computers/technology. Here are some examples from real life in the last few weeks that I find rude and almost insulting:

(A)Boardgame night at our house. 8 people around a table. We are ALL playing a game. Suddenly, one person gets a text and takes out their phone to text back. Then five more people (no joke) take out THEIR phones to text people. Silence all around as these six out of eight people text others that aren't even here(!!) instead of having a conversation and good time with the PEOPLE IN THE ROOM WITH THEM!!! "Sorry," one says, "I just HAD to answer." The others nod. "Yeah," another says, "I just remembered something that I had to tell someone."
Well, I won't take your apologies, people. What you just did was a great insult to my hospitality. I am trying to be social by providing a clean house, food, drinks, games, and my attempts at being friendly, and you answer this hospitality by writing secret messages to other people. That is rude and needs to be fixed.

(B)Superbowl party. 8 people in a room. Watching football TOGETHER and eating, etc. Not only did six people have their phones out CONSTANTLY, but sometimes, I think they were gossip-texting each other(!!). It hurts even more when I wonder if it is about me. Example: The Who band was playing. People were giving their opinions about them as a band, etc. I say: "I wish superbowl could find younger bands to play. The Who is pretty old and I think they are past their prime for live entertainment." Suddenly, three people take out their phones and text someone. And then they all get texts back from those mystery people at the same time, etc. Hmm...makes me wonder if it is just coincidence that they all had the urge to text and also get responses back at the same time. I know I am an opinionated person, but just bitch back at me instead of getting all nasty. Even if they were NOT texting each other, even if it was just one nasty coincidence, this situation shows why using phones when around others is rude. I should not worry that people are doing that in front of me. I should not worry about being more interesting than a phone/other people not in the room. It is just so incredibly rude and not necessary.

Since boardgame night, Paul and I have made it a rule that no cell phones may be used upon entering our house unless under emergency or it's a common sense thing. However, even when we had people over with this rule, they keep their phones under their hands and watch it constantly like something super super urgent is happening and they just HAVE to know. Phones seem to have some control over people now. It is really sad.
I am out of ideas for handling this situation and could use some advice. Am I overexaggerating? Should I be more bold and tell them to stop being so rude? Should I sit meekly by while these stupid phones take over their lives? Should I stop hanging out with these rude people? Should I become Amish?


Issue#2
Unfortunately, I have more than one annoyance in my life right now. Grr...
I am part of a small group/Bible study. All of my life, I have hated Christian peer groups. This all start when I was a child. In sunday school, "Christian" kids were mean to me because I had glasses and was homeschooled. Even though I was nice and never did anything to deserve it, they would do some nasty mean things to me. Then I would go home in tears, and hang out with friendly public school kids all week long. In middle school, my parents stopped homeschooling and put me in a Christian private school. Naively, I thought they would be great for me, since by then the public school kids were getting rebellious and naughty. However, once again, "Christian" kids excluded me and treated me like crap because I had glasses and wore crappy clothes(?). Even though the public school kids were smoking and joining gangs, they at least gave everyone a shot. Ever since then, I have hated how Christians act in a group. How they exclude people (even fellow Christians) for stupid things like appearances or quirky personalities. I promised myself even when I was a child that I would NEVER exclude ANYONE from anything. And so far, I have kept to that promise.
However, now there seems to be a dilemma. Some of the people in my small group are getting together after meetings or on the weekends, etc., and inviting other people from small group...but not everyone. When Paul and I have social activities at our house, we always announce the outings on the small group facebook page so that EVERYONE is invited. True, usually only the same 8-10 people show up, but it is important to me that the opportunity is put out there. A few of the small group people, though, are making social activities and giving out personal invitations to certain people that they like. For some reason (the first time in my life), I am in the "in" crowd. I hate it. I get somewhere and ask why such-in-such person is not there. The response: "Oh, I don't like that person. I only invite the people from our group that I like." Then I spend the rest of the night feeling guilty. To me, I know that some of us in small group click more as friends, but I think that as long as we are a small group, there should be no exclusion. Then, maybe this summer, when group is officially over, do what you want. But maybe I am wrong and exaggerating again. Am I being too sensitive to this issue b/c I know what it's like? Is it okay to do things with just friends even if you are all part of the same small group? Am I right or am I wrong? Does it depend on the situation? I am struggling with this one. I don't know if I should go to these parties if someone is being excluded. It is that "justice-hero" part of me that my mom always told me she was proud of. Should I go to these parties if people are excluded like this? Please let me know what you think. I am stumped. I need alot of prayers...

~Cris

Spring Schedule

My Spring semester is now in full swing. At this time, I cannot say if it will be better or worse or the same as last semester, but let's all hope that it is better! My medieval grad class has tons of homework every week, and my other two classes both have homework assignments of one book a week. Blegh. I am also concerned b/c I get up early three times a week. That is just awful for me since I am not a morning person. Anyway, before I slip into a worrisome and depressed state of mind, here is a preview of my semester:

Monday:
8:15-9:45am: office hours
10-11am: My students' lecture (I am required to be there)
11am-noon: bus ride
1pm-4pm: Homework

Tuesday:
9am-11am: Homework
noon-1pm: bus ride
2-4pm: Grad class on Crime and Justice in Early Modern Europe
4-6pm: Grad class on English colonists and Indians in pre-revolutionary America

Wednesday:
8-9am: Discussion Section (I teach)
9am-noon: Homework on campus *or* 10-11am: Lecture
Noon-1pm: Discussion Section
1-2pm: Discussion Section

Thursday:
9-11am: Homework
noon-1pm: Bus ride
2-4pm: Grad class on gender and power in medieval Europe

Friday:
8:15-9:45am: office hours
10-11am: Lecture
11am-noon: Bus ride
1pm-4pm: Homework

I am sure I will end up doing even more homework on the weekends. This is the first full week of classes, and I have already started doing homework after dinner. This is annoying b/c I enjoy hanging out with my husband in the evenings. Please pray that I survive this semester!

Relaxing Rocks

I am not sure why I haven't written before this. It's not like I am doing anything yet! :) Since my last post, I have relaxed in Florida, saw family in Michigan (albeit briefly), and now for the last week I have been doing NOTHING. I thought I would be sick of being lazy after a while, but that is not true. If anything, all of this time off makes me desire to be a stay-at-home wife. This sounds awesome. Without kids ruining my life, I can sleep in, clean, and be lazy. What an awesome plan... :) Paul says that I need to have an actual job for a while (since I have yet to have one) but that eventually I could probably make this happen. We shall see!

Anywho, Florida was incredible. Our days involved: sleeping til 11am, fishing til 6pm, hot tub till midnight. AKA: perfection. While fishing, we saw alot of amazing nature. There were tons of beautiful and foreign-looking birds. Twice, a manatee would slowly roll out of the water right next to our boat (magical!). Every day, one of two different types of dolphins would be right next to our boat as well. I LOVE the bottlenose dolphins. They put on quite the show. You know they are around the boat b/c all of a sudden fish are jumping out of the water like crazy (trying to get away from the dolphins). Then, once the dolphins have a fish, they throw the fish out of the water in an entertaining way. We learned from our fishing guide that this is because dolphins can't eat live fish and also can only eat them head-first. So the dolphins 'play' with their fish in order to kill it. It's a pretty sweet thing to watch. Once, three bottlenose dolphins did this fish show right next to our boat, and then rolled out of the water all around us for like 20 minutes. Again, truely a magical experience. The bad thing is that when dolphins are next to your boat, you will no longer catch any fish. So the guys eventually got annoyed with the dolphins, but I never minded them. :) We also saw a few alligators in the wild. One big one stays in the pond at the trailer park we were staying at. That was pretty cool. Also, once when we were fishing, we saw an alligator emerge from the mangroves and slowly drop into the water like ten feet from our boat. It was so cool. We caught tons of types of fish: grouper, grunts, snapper, sting rays, catfish, sugar trout, sea trout, etc. That was cool too. Finally, we saw a bobcat in the trailer park! Here is the scenario:
We got off the boat after a long day of fishing. The guys were getting the boat hitched up, etc. I was on land and looked up and saw a bobcat in the neighbor's yard.
Me: "Guys! Look over there! It's a bobcat!"
Guys: (not looking up from their work) "You are crazy, Cris. It's probably just a cat, silly."
Me: "It's right there! I KNOW it's a bobcat!"
Guys: "Sure it is, Cris (making crazy motions)"
Suddenly the neighbor guy comes up to his dock on his own boat: "Did you guys just see that bobcat in my yard?!? How cool!"
Guys: (stopping everything they are doing, jumping out of the boat, running over to the guy's yard) "Whoa, where! Wow! There it is! A bobcat!!!"
Me: (not sure whether to roll eyes and groan or get annoyed) I TOLD you!!! I rock!"

So then we followed the bobcat around the park and took tons of pictures of it. Check out my facebook photo album for a few of the better pics. That was pretty cool. And the guys learned a valuable lesson about trusting my wilderness knowledge (hopefully). :)

Anywho, so all in all, I suggest that everyone move down to Florida with us, where we will live the exotic and magical life all together. After getting back to milwaukee, I seriously have done very little. I made truffles, cleaned once or twice, and did a few craft-hobbies around the house including asian pictures for our dining room and a curtain for our kitchen. I promise to post pics soon. Both rooms are almost completely finished. Other than that, I waste my days playing sims and reading my new book on biblical equality (mentioned in a previous post). This book is amazing. Since entering graduate school and coming to Milwaukee, I have been struggling with my christianity. This is for two reasons: (1): No ministers here seem to give me theological challenges in their sermons (2): The smarter I get, the harder it is for me to appreciate the Bible. This book has reestablished my connection with God, but most importantly with Christianity as a religion. I have always been faithful to God, but I have lately been annoyed at the religion. But again, this book gives me intelligent answers to my questions about women in the Christian faith. I have discovered that I was always right about my opinions, but now I can back them up with fascinating biblical history and verses! If you are reading this blog and want to become a stronger Christian Woman, please please please read this book! :)

That is all. I just babbled forever. I apologize that my blog is not as intelligently-humored as Julie's or as biblical and passionate as Staci's... :)