I survived (somehow)!!

It's been a while since my last post, but that is because school took up every last minute of my life during that time. Somehow, I survived this semester. Don't ask me how. I am pretty sure it was only through desperate prayers to God. This was the worst school semester that I have ever encountered in my life. Yes, it even beats my awful memories of 7th grade! At this point, I don't care what grades I got from these classes. It only matters that I made it. And now, I only have three more semesters of classes before I can be independent(-ish) in my learning. After the three more semesters, I will barely see these awful elitist professors again. :)

Now I am finishing up grading stuff, which is difficult to do because I am SO sick of working. However, I have it all under control and I am maintaining a wonderful balance of grading and relaxing. For example, this saturday was the first weekend in a very long time that I did some of my hobbies. I am in the process of making pictures for my asian-themed dining room. They are looking really good, and I am pretty close to finishing! Paul and I also cleaned the house on saturday, which was something that I haven't done in WAY too long. Paul has been amazing this semester and has done almost all of the work around the house. I was going to return the favor by cleaning everything on saturday, but he wanted to help which reminds me why I love him so much. :) We also had people over to our house to watch a movie and chill. I also got some grading done. So all in all, it was a perfectly balanced day, and I am so happy because of it.
I also took a bubble bath, listened to Handel's messiah, slept in, and played my beloved sims. Once I get this grading done (probably tomorrow), it will be time for packing and off to Florida with Paul, Rick, and Kyle. We should have tons of fun sleeping, fishing, and eating. I might try to read for fun again. It's been a long time.
I wish that I could see more family on this break as well, but I must do what I gotta do to regain my sanity. Florida should (hopefully) help me regain my strength (physically and emotionally).
I hope that anyone reading this blog has a wonderful and blessed Christmas.

Biblical Equality

Okay, so I know I JUST posted this morning, but I am taking a procrastinating break from my work. Today, Paul and I eagerly opened the mail to find our two new books awaiting us! We are really excited to read them together.
The books:
**Ronald W. Pierce, Rebecca Merrill Groothuis, eds. Discovering Biblical Equality: Complementarity without Hierarchy
**David Blankenhorn, Don Browning, Mary Steward VanLeeuwen, eds. Does Christianity Teach Male Headship? The Equal-Regard Marriage and its Critics

The first book is a thorough academic book on the history, theology, etc. of the entire Christian faith and argues for equality in Christian marriages. However, they also encourage debate from their findings.
The second book is a debate book with both sides of the issue as well as non-Christian and Christian opinions.

We are excited to read these books together to expand our knowledge on our beliefs. After all, it is not good to believe something without personal knowledge! Paul and I began our relationship with the mutual understanding that our marriage was about equality. Since joining our small group, we have been constantly complimented on our marriage relationship, and have had many Christian friends ask us (out of curiousity, NOT anger) how our equality-stance marriage is founded on Christian beliefs. Many of them believe that the man needs to be the dominant partner and marvel at Paul and I because we don't believe this. Anyway, Paul and I researched some good books on this topic. We are going to read them to expand our understanding, and, if we enjoy the books and find them helpful, we are probably going to start a small group on this very topic. I think it would be wonderful to discuss/debate the pros/cons of both opinions. I would never want to force my beliefs on another person, but healthy knowledge would be essential for us all. So if anyone is reading this post and is curious about the books, let me know! I encourage everyone, single or married, male or female, to read on these topics to further understand the family/social life that God desires! :)

Thanksgiving

It is now thanksgiving break for me. I have been dreading this break for a long time b/c I have ambitious plans for my grad work. Also, I am not going home for thanksgiving this year and it's kinda depressing.
It's weird, too. Last year when Paul and I went home for thanksgiving, it took about 9 hours to do a normally 5 hour trip. We were grumpy and exhausted and got to Michigan late wednesday night. Then we woke up thursday/thanksgiving day tired and had to force ourselves to be social and happy-go-lucky for our families. Last Thanksgiving we went from one family home to another and it was a non-stop exhausting day. I told Paul last thanksgiving that I never wanted to go home for that holiday again. Besides, I hate thanksgiving traditional food and traditions always make me grumpy when they have no true personal value (ex: WHY must we eat boring pumpkin pie and bland turkey? It's not b/c our family has fond memories of either of these, it's b/c that's what everyone in America eats for the holiday. Blegh. I hate traditions like these). Anywho, so I was originally glad we weren't going home for this thanksgiving.
However, I guess it's a combination of the fact that we aren't seeing family for this holiday OR Christmas this year (Paul and I are fishing in Florida instead) that makes me kinda sad. Now that Jon is married, I have a nephew, Jim is dating, Michael is dating, and Christy is preggo, I feel like it's more important than ever before to connect with family. I don't want to be that aunt/sister that no one evers gets to know. Five hours is not that far...However, the problem is that Paul and I never have breaks that match up to go home for a weekend and grad school is slowly killing me (or at least robbing me of a life)... I hope that our families can someday take time to come visit us for weekends. That would be nice.
So I kinda wandered off topic. I guess I am writing because thanksgiving is different this year and it's weird. I know my blogs have been mainly negative, so I will end this blog with a thanksgiving tradition that I actually think is important:
*Things I am Thankful For this Year*
**I am thankful that I finished grading the quizzes and did my medieval presentation
**I am thankful that I will have time this weekend to do ALOT of work, so that maybe I can relax a bit in December
**I am thankful that God allowed me to get into a Phd program, even though it's hard and I don't like it. It will make it easier to get a job someday, so Thanks God!
**I am thankful that I am making/eating delicious food for thanksgiving instead of food that makes me want to pull my hair and scream (Marinated/grilled steak, cheesy veggies, savory stuffed mushrooms, crockpot chunky applesauce, pumpkin spice cake w/ choc)
**I am thankful for my house, which I love so much. Everytime I come home, I think about how God has blessed us with an affordable and awesome-sized home.
**I am thankful for my precious dog Athena. She completes our family. Paul and I love her so much and it is such a blessing to snuggle and play with our sweet pup.
**I am SO thankful to God for adding on to my family! I want to get to know Amanda more and I want to spend more time with my awesome nephew Quentin! And Thanks God for giving Paul and I another nephew this spring!
**I am thankful for our wonderful families, and our old and new friends. You all complete our lives.
**Finally, of course, I am super super super thankful to God for blessing me with my Paul. I could not survive grad school (or life for that matter) without Paul encouraging me and helping me. Everyday, Paul picks me up from school and I am sad and angry, but when I see him pull up with the car, a smile forms on my face and happiness fills me to the core. I love you, Paul. :)

I need a school break!!!

Ug, I wish Marquette's history grad program wasn't so time consuming. I hate it so much. I wish I could be like normal people in the world and have weekends off. There are so many things I want to do on the weekends for fun, but there is just so much work for school, I don't see how it is possible!
Here is list of things I WANT to do on the weekends:
**make holiday cookies/treats
**have people over for games and appetizers
**make homemade cards and write to people
**make curtains for all the rooms in our house (I have the fabric ready to go!)
**make oriental pictures for our dining room
**go home to Michigan to see my family/friends
**finish the various throw pillows
**finish knitting my afghan
**go shopping for fun

Here is the list of things that I HAVE to do on the weekends from now until Dec. 18:
**do all the research (approx. 20 books/articles) for my Islam paper
**write my Islam paper
**make my presentation for the Islam paper
**do all the research for my medieval paper
**write my medieval paper
**make a presentation for my arts/crafts class
**grade student quizzes (86 of them)
**grade student tests (also 86 of them)
**finish putting in grades for my class
**lesson plan and read the book I am teaching about before my students have to
**make a presentation for my medieval class

These are the things I am doing on the weekends, but it does not include the everyday work. For example, this past week (not the weekend) I had to read 4 books for Islam, 7 books/articles for medieval, 2 books for arts/crafts, write a paper for arts/crafts, office hours and lectures and email students and lesson plan and grade, and go to my grad classes and participate actively.
Blegh. I am so sick of school, and this school expects too much from us students. I don't think it is right for a grad program to demand every moment of our lives. I already sacrifice valuable study time on most nights so that I can eat dinner and hang out with my husband and dog. I wish so much that I could have a weekend where I actually say something like "I'm bored". That would be so wonderful. I don't know when that will ever happen. At least not for another four years...blegh. :(
So anyone who reads this, please pray for me. Pray that God either makes an extra day during the weekends or that He makes a clone of me that can do part of this workload. Okay, those aren't realistic. How about pray that God will give me peace and persistance in my work even though I am so sick of it...

Life update

These last few weeks have been SO busy! I got super super sick and it got me way behind in my work. Once I got better, it was double the effort in school, which was annoying.

Other news:
Paul and I finished our front yard landscaping! We are so proud. It was alot of work that we had to squeeze in between 4pm and 6pm for most of the weeks. Paul did alot of the carrying of dirt and stuff, but I did my part too. It looks better than we thought possible. I am really excited for spring/summer now, to see how many plants survived the transplanting process. We just have to finish the backyard with a few things (finishing the brick trim by the hostas and clearing brush by the fruit bushes and planting some bulbs), but then the yard is finished until spring! It's a great feeling to get something else finished.
We just talked today about how much we have already accomplished on our house and we haven't even been here a whole year! Our next project is finishing the dining room and living room. Then we can think about another room. We love working on our house. :)

We also LOVE our dog. She is spoiled rotten and is just too adorable. Besides one naughty chewing on the floor, she has done nothing wrong. Everyday, Paul and I have her do tricks for treats, so she is getting to be pretty smart. We play with her almost every night as well. It is just SO nice to have a dog, since we have wanted one since we were dating.

Even though I spent alot of time this weekend grading student exams (blegh), I had some opportunities to get outside and enjoy this lovely fall weather. Sometimes it's just so easy to get in the trench of habits involving sleep, eating, school, homework, watch shows with Paul, sleep, repeat. So it was nice to just take a break from school (even if I technically should have plugged along with those exams) and get out. We went to an apple orchard with Rick, Jessica, and Emily on Saturday. It was fun to pick our own apples and hang out. It was wonderfully cold, too. :) Today, Paul and I went out for a walk in the Kettle Moraine national forest. It was a 3.1 mile hike that took about two and a half hours (LOTS of hills). It was beautiful with the sun shining through the forest and making everything look golden. The combination of fresh air, pretty scenes and holding my hubby's hand made it the perfect end to the weekend. (luckily, I have thursday and friday off this week, so I can catch up with my work then!)

Well, that's it for now. I am loving life! God is good.
~Cris

Blegh

Well, I could use some prayers:
(1): School is harder than it has ever been in the past. I can't catch up with my work. I worked this weekend, hoping I could catch up, and I am still behind. I don't know how much more I can work everyday without going insane, but I guess I will have to try. I already know that my thanksgiving weekend will be used mainly for working on school, as well as all of my weekends. I am trying to fit in some 'down time' but it's not enough to get me through. I don't teach enough to make me sane through the grad research, but when I DO teach, I am not as prepared as I would like b/c of all my grad work. I also have a prof who gives way too much work every week. So please pray that I catch up on my work, and maybe even get ahead!
(2): I am sick. This weekend was supposed to get me caught up on work, but instead (probably b/c of the stress), I got a fever and aches and all-around flu/cold. I woke up this morning all dizzy and tired, so please pray I get better soon so that I can keep working.
(3): Well, this isn't a prayer request, more like a praise. I am SO THANKFUL for Paul! He cleaned the house this weekend (I didn't even notice it was so dirty!), worked on the yard, and took care of me. He almost even did some of my homework! :) I couldn't get through grad school without his support...

That's all for now. Hopefully my next post is more positive.

My ponderings

This past week, I have thought about alot of issues that bother me. I have no answers:

**Why is my history graduate studies less about learning history and more about learning about SCHOLARS of history?**
Example: In my Islam history grad class, we read a large amount of material in order to compare/contrast the various arguments by different scholars about the impact of the West on Islam. However, I don't know ANYTHING about the history of Islam, so how can I have an opinion about one scholar over the other? Why can't we just have a super fast-track history lecture style class so that I can know everything about the topic? Alas, all of my grad classes so far are about historiography and not history...it makes me sad.

**Is it okay for a Christian to be tolerant, accepting, and understanding of another religion?**
I just wonder what other people think about this. I have asked two of my closest friends. One said a Christian should NOT be tolerant/accepting. The other said a Christian SHOULD be tolerant/accepting. I have been listening to my thoughts and my heart. From what I have read on various religions and their histories, I think we should be accepting of those religions that are so close to our own. Do slight differences in theologies matter to God? Or does He simply care that we worship only HIM, lead a godly life, take care of others, etc. I suppose I won't know the answer to this until I go to heaven and see if I am right...But the question still bothers me.

**Why does society follow traditions so close that the traditions practically become RULES instead of just IDEAS?**
Example: Weddings. Why do people spend all of their money on one day that no one else will remember, and why do people get all weird about silly details of weddings like wrinkled dresses and sitting arrangments?!?! I will never understand traditions and why people just do what everyone else does...unless perhaps people lack creativity and must do what everyone else does b/c they have no original ideas?

**Why do women wear "slutty" clothes so much?**
Men do not wear anything immodest, but I have yet to meet a woman who does not wear slutty things. (my definition of slutty: low cut, skin tight, uncomfortable in order to draw mens' eyes, etc.). I know part of it is b/c all clothes available to women are slutty, but why is that the case? Why is society so unequal? Women are wearing clothes that upsets the balance of gender equality. When a woman wears a tank top or a low cut, slim-fitting dress, why does she do it? The response from men is lust. The response from other women is jealousy. Thus, there are no positive reactions from wearing immodest clothes.
Let's picture an interview for a top-notch position somewhere. This certain business sees three interviewers. #1: A man dressed up in a business suit. #2: A woman dressed in a business suit.
#3: A woman dressed in a low cut shirt and mini skirt.
Who do you think they would hire? Based on appearances alone, #3 is unprofessional. The other two, wearing similar clothing, have an equal status for the interview.
If you take this hypothetical situation for everything, don't you think women and men should dress alike in order to be treated equally in ALL situations in the world? So why do women lower themselves by dressing poorly?

And WHY am I so unusual as a woman because I want to dress modestly and be a Godly and proper example to the world?!?!

**Why am I so different? Why do I question traditions and social standards?!?! Why do I stick up for my individuality, my originality, my modesty, and my uniqueness WHEN NO ONE ELSE IN SOCIETY SEEMS TO DO THIS FOR THEMSELVES?!?
Does this make me wrong?! Does this make me weird? Will I ever meet another person who questions the norms like I do?!?

Labor Day Weekend

Our first week of teaching/classes has gone by. So far, Paul is loving his new school. Unlike previous experiences, he actually has a lunch break, variety in his schedule, and he gets out on time! It is wonderful that he is having a good time. My week was great as well. I think I can manage a healthy balance of teaching and studying. I haven't decided if it is a good thing or a bad thing, but it looks like every week will be different. (Good thing: variety is nice; Bad thing: it will be more chaotic for me to keep everything straight). For example, I don't have discussion every week, but some weeks I will be grading intensely instead, and others I will have a light teaching load. Another example is that some weeks I will have more research/reading to do than others. I hope I can keep organized!
Even though our first week of work was great, it was still exhausting. I suppose it is a combination of getting used to waking up on time and getting used to a new environment and new faces, but Paul, me, and Rick (all teachers) were crazy exhausted by Friday. It gets better as time goes on. Paul and I took a nap almost every day!
It was nice to have a break with the weekend. And what great weather! Labor day weekend can be frosty or rainy, but rarely is it sunny and 70s! On friday, we played halo and board games with Rick. Always a fun friday activity! Saturday was super special. Paul surprised me with a chance to go to a renaissance fair. Bristol Renaissance faire is one of the biggest ones in the country and only an hour south of us. Even though I am a historian of the renaissance, I have never been to one! It was alot of fun. We saw some great jousting, acrobats, etc. We wanted to go back on sunday to do a cool interactive quest.
However, on Sunday, we woke up very tired. (At Bristol, we were on our feet and doing stuff from noon-7pm). So Sunday we worked on our front yard. We have been slowly getting it ready for my perennial garden, and we finished getting the stumps from the ugly bushes out. They took a long time and alot of hard work, but we got there! We also watched 'Harry and the Hendersons' with Rick. What a funny movie! I recommend it.
Today we were going to go back to the fair as well, but decided it would be better to sleep in extra long. Then we worked on the yard again. This time, we started the fun task of transplanting flowers around in our backyard. The people who lived here before us had a dumb garden going through the middle of our backyard. It makes it difficult for our dog to run around and it makes the yard look smaller. So we are moving the plants to other places. It will probably take the rest of September, but in the end, our front yard and back yard will look great!
Then we went grilling with Rick and Benji and ate ice cream at culvers and watched a movie.
Good times. Overall, it was a great weekend mix of fun yard work (I LOVE it!) and fun activities. Perfecto!!!
~Cris

My week schedule

As promised, I thought someone out there might be interested in knowing what a phd graduate and teaching assistant's day to day schedule looks like. I enjoy this kind of lifestyle very much, however, some weeks are way way stressful due to my own papers being due at the same time that my students have exams that need grading. Those weeks are bad and exhausting. However, for the most part, as long as I manage my own time appropriately (which is a talent of mine that many others do not possess), my weeks go by quite smoothly. Here is my week:

Monday:
*wake up when I feel refreshed, but early enough to work (usually 9am-ish)
*9am-noon: either work on homework, lesson planning, or learning german
*noon-ish: get on bus for an hour long ride
*1-2pm: My students have lecture and I listen in and stay late to answer students' questions
*2-3:30pm: Office hours at the Campus coffee shop (if no students: doing more work)
*4pm: Paul and I go to the gym on campus and then we go home and hang out
Tuesday:
*wake up around 9am-ish
*9-noon: lesson planning/homework/german
*noon: bus ride!
*2-4pm: My grad class on historiography
*4pm: Paul and I go to the gym on campus and then home
Wednesday:
*wake up around 6am (boo!)
*Paul drives me to school around 7am-ish
*9am-1pm: teach various discussion sections
*1-2pm: My students' lecture
*2-4pm: grading/homework/german
*4pm: Paul picks me up and we probably just go right home
Thursday:
*wake up whenever I want (yay!)
*?-1pm: homework/german
*4-6pm: My grad class on Islam
*6pm: Paul brings me home
Friday:
*wake up around 9am
*9-noon: homework/german
*noon: bus ride!
*1-2pm: My students' lecture
*2-3:30pm: My office hours at the coffee shop
*4pm: Paul and I go to the gym and then home

Well, that is basically it. I also have an intensive medieval reading class. We only meet once every three weeks. However, I have TONS of reading homework and research to do for that class on my own. Hence the many hours I give myself to do homework. As long as I work hard during the mornings and whenever else I can during the day, I should be able to mainly avoid homework at night or on the weekends. Paul and I really try to keep nights and weekends open for hanging out with friends and each other. Hope you enjoyed reading about my daily life!
~Cris

The Orientations that wasted my days

Last week was orientation week for Paul and I at our respective schools. Paul's orientation days were fine. He got to do some lovely (and admittedly corny) group games to get to know each other. He also learned more about his school and what he will be teaching, etc. He is eager to start teaching at this school, and I think it will be MUCH nicer for him.

My orientation days were not so helpful. Wednesday thru Friday I had long days where I listened to not-very-helpful information and never had a chance to actually get to know the other history grad students. Every time I started talking to someone, the next lecture started up and we had to stop conversating and just listen up. There was also a Bad Day in there in which we had to prepare a 10 minute teaching thing to practice being TAs. There were no instructions given the day before, just that we had to prepare something. I prepared a 10 minute discussion skit, in which the students come already prepared, and I just ask questions. However, somehow, everyone else prepared a lecture skit, in which they just taught the rest of us something. I was very upset/nervous because my skit was apparantly wrong(?). Also, this whole thing was video-taped and then later we watched the videos and "critiqued" each other. Have I mentioned yet that I am uncomfortable about being video-taped AND I DO NOT EVER watch a tape with me on it? I have rather unpleasant memories about doing this as a child and I have avoided this kind of situation since that time. So the whole circumstance was very unpleasant for me. Somehow I survived. However, I was rather grumpy by the end of friday's session.

On the weekend, for Saturday, Paul and I slept in late (Paul slept until 2:30pm!). It was wonderful to get our rest before our busy week of teaching. The first week back is always so stressful and new and exhausting. We did some chores like getting some simple groceries (we were not in the mood to get alot, just the basics to survive another week) and cleaning up the house together, and Paul painted the dining room. It is a lovely pale yellow that makes the room look cheerful and relaxing. We hung out with Rick as well by playing old video games like nintendo 64 mario tennis. :)

On Sunday, Paul and I practiced the bus route from our house to Marquette University together. I have to start taking the bus in the mornings, but I was nervous about trying it out alone. So Paul was very sweet to accompany me on a trial run. Paul's folks came from michigan for some conference and met us at Marquette. I showed them around my new campus and we left for our house. They haven't seen our house since move-in day, so it was nice to show them our settled-in home. We played games and ate at the Cheesecake factory and had a lovely time.
Now it is monday and school begins. Paul left for his school at 7:30am this morning. He doesn't have students until tomorrow, but he will be working with his fellow teachers all day getting things organized. I am pacing our home waiting until it is time to leave for school myself. I am only on campus on mondays from 1-2pm, so I leave for the bus in about 30 minutes. Better early then late! :) The first day is always annoying for me. I just want to meet my students and get to teaching and learning! But I must wait out the intros and basic beginnings of the semester. Well, this post is quite long. Next time, I will write out my basic schedule so you get a feel for what my days are like.
~Cris

Hello

Well, here I am. I have been trying to figure out if I wanted a blog or not for a while now, and my latest adventures in school left me ranting and raving so much that I thought it might be healthy to just get one of these! :)

The goal of this blog is to get out all of my stress from school, bask in the happiness of life, and to remind myself years down the road of all the basic everyday things that happen to me. It is bound to be boring. laugh!

I will start by saying that I am married to a great Christian man named Paul. He is tall and has blond hair which basically means he is perfect. :) We have a baby (aka puppy) named Athena. She is only 7 months-ish old and a black lab/newfoundland mix, as well as the best dog in America. I am a Phd history grad student(!) with way too many years of tough schooling ahead of me. I used to love learning, but being in school constantly since I was six is wearing me out...
Together, Paul and I love fishing, playing games, playing music, and walking with our dog.

Well, that is it for now. Woo hoo for blogs!