Dreaming about our Dream House

Paul and I are WAY too excited about moving to South Carolina...or rather, moving anywhere as long as it is AWAY from crappy Milwaukee. :) We are so excited about moving, in fact, that we are having a difficult time motivating ourselves to focus on the present and try to get everything ready for our big move. It's hard to think about packing when you can snuggle on the couch together and look at pictures of our future dream home instead... :)

Anyway, we have been constantly changing our minds about what IS our dream house. It will really be interesting to see what we end up with, though that seems clearer as time goes on. The more we think about future houses, the more it becomes clear that we will be happiest in a small house that is good for the environment. We also would strongly prefer designing it ourselves and we would like to have a nice chunk of land for my super ambitiously huge garden dream... :)

So without further ado, here is the evolution of our thought process on what we want for our dream home. It ends with the dream home that currently seems like it will become reality (we've been researching it thoroughly!), though any of these would probably make me happy for life. :)

1) A small cottage on a beautiful lake:

**Who cares if your house is small and dumpy and old if you live on a lake?!? We planned on spending most of the day/night either working or on the lake anyway.  The problem? Some houses are a bit TOO old and dumpy and lake lots are expensive. Also, everyone wants to live on a lake, so lots are small and cramped. I hesitate about living in a suburb-type environment...I really am a country girl at heart.

2) A monolithic dome house:

**This type of home is pretty sweet. First, Paul LOVES curved walls, as will become evident in the rest of our dream houses. Second, monolithic domes are virtually indestructible. They are made with concrete, they are circular, and they are made with steel, so fire/winds/earthquakes/tornadoes/hurricanes/etc. cannot destroy them. Third, we could design it the way we want, which is always an exciting thought. One problem, however, is the price. It's pretty expensive to make because you have to hire the specific monolithic dome construction crew to come make it since it's a difficult thing to make. Also, your entire house is a circle, making floor plans a bit awkward (though Paul was excited about having that many curved walls...)

3) Making an Earthship home:

This was an intriguing design for a house: it is made almost entirely with garbage or recycled goods! You use old tires rammed with earth to make your outside walls, which produces thermal mass, which helps keep your house at a constant temperature, reducing the need for using electricity. You have solar panels help give you your electricity. You use a passive solar design (windows on the south wall of your house that help keep your home naturally warm in the winter and cool in the summer). You have an indoor hydroponic garden to not only give your herbs and veggies in your own house year round, but that same system helps you use water in an environmentally amazing way (you keep rain water in rain barrels or a cistern and have a water cycle that means you don't need to be hooked up to city water). You can design your own home, help build it, and not only that, since you are using basically garbage, it is fairly cheap! Our concerns were about the intense labor that is need to ram dirt into the tires as well as the fact that there is still no proof yet that garbage used in this way will last long time. This type of house plan, though, was really making us excited of our possibilities!

4) Making a Cob house:

Okay, this picture is not of a finished Cob house, but it gives you an idea of how it works. You mix clay, dirt, and straw together (most do this with their feet!) and build your house with it. This is the most "close to nature" and "green" concept of all of our dream house ideas. What better way to help out nature than to use nature's leftover resources? Trees take years and years to mature to the point where they can be used to make homes, which is why there is such a concern about deforestation. However, if you use the dirt and clay found on your plot of land (especially from the part already dug up for making your foundation) and use straw (nature's natural garbage), you are really helping out the planet and imagine the pride you can have from making your own house in this way! Don't worry, you plaster over the straw bits... Again, you can design your own home and build it yourself. There are a few problems though. First, Cob houses are more vulnerable in humid/moist environments. This type of housing is PERFECT for the desert, but if you don't do it exactly correct, you could have problems with mold later on. Since mold makes me barf (a nasty allergic reaction of mine), this made us hesitant. Also, this is extremely hard work: you spend days making the cob, then slowly building it up to make your house. But we were getting closer to what we wanted...

5) Making an Earthbag Home:

**With Earthbag homes, you basically pour soil from your plot of land (or scoria, gravel, etc. if you want to buy stuff) into earth bags and make your walls. You can have support from other supplies if you want, or you can just build with it. You can make your own house plans; you can incorporate solar panels, passive solar heating, recycled/hydroponic water system, etc.; you can do this cheaply (it's your own soil!) and though it is still labor-intensive, you can make your house in a reasonable amount of time. It produces thick walls for insulation and thermal mass, you can make curved walls or straight (guess what Paul wants?!?). It is still made with mainly natural products (duh, dirt), it is fire proof and if you use curved walls, safe from winds/tornadoes/etc. This picture is before putting on plaster. Here's another picture of a more finished home:

So an Earthbag home is currently our idea of a Dream Home. It took a few years of looking and research to find out about it, but we are really, really excited to try to make our own home! (Though if interested, we could use some volunteers when we start making the walls...) :)

I can't promise you that this is the FINAL idea for our Dream Home. After all, we still need to move to South Carolina and find jobs and a plot of land in order for this to happen. And in the meantime, we could discover an even better home-making idea. But hey, it's fun to dream, right? Time will tell if this dream becomes a reality.

What would YOUR dream home look like? What would it include? What is important to you in a home?

Random Ramblings

Well, it's been a while,so I thought I would update on my life. Not that anything really interesting has been happening, but hey, the little things are important to remember as well:

1) This past weekend, Paul and I finished painting the outside of the house. And by Paul and I, I really mean, Paul hung out of our upstairs window in a painful position while I made sure he didn't (a) fall out of the window and (b) the chair he was standing on didn't fall out from under him.

*I must say at this point that I am incredibly grateful that Paul is super tall and has long, long, long arms. I am pretty sure any other guy would have had to give up or call the professionals, seeing that Paul was stretched as far as humanly possible and barely reached the highest tips.

*Now we only have two more minor (and indoors) painting jobs to complete and our house will be ready to sell. Now if only I would stop procrastinating and figure out what we need to actually do to try and sell our house...

2) I finished the third strand of my afghan!!!

*This means 3 down, 2 more to go (UGH). It technically took me over 5 years to do this third strip because I started it and then ignored it for a long, long time. The fact that I have to stop after every 8 rows to untangle the yarn makes it very difficult for me to continue because it makes me so grumpy. That's approx. 15 minutes of actual knitting followed by 10 minutes of untangling. UGH. Oh well, I should celebrate the fact that I am OVER HALF DONE NOW! Woo hoo...

*I am celebrating this fact by taking some time off from my afghan project to make some cool hats for me and my friends. First up, Paul wants a slug hat so that he looks like people in the show Futurama:

Then, after the slug hat, I am making a winter hat and matching scarf for myself, then a batman hat, a hat with an attachable beard, and maybe an R2D2 hat as well. Should be fun, and I will try to post pictures of the results! Hopefully these hat projects will inspire me to finish this cursed afghan...

3) I started up a new job as a substitute educational assistant!

*I have been really bored on my Wednesdays (which I have off) because I usually have nothing to do. I've been teaching the same stuff over and over so I have little planning to do anymore. So I applied as a substitute educational assistant for some districts around Milwaukee and I got the job! I started on October 7 and since then, I have had work every week. It has been lots of fun and great experience. I have no idea what life will be like when we move to South Carolina, so this way, I can have experience as an educational assistant, so maybe I can apply for those jobs when we move. Mainly, I get to play with kindergarteners and first-graders and teach them how to read. They are so cute! However, last week I worked at a high school, and UGH what little brats. 

*The worst part is waking up early. My goodness, why does America wake up so stinking early? I think schools could function better if the hours were 9am-4pm. What a dream. Instead, some schools I sub at start at 7am!!! Other schools started at 10am. I certainly have a preference for the later-opening schools. :)



So that's about it. Not much going on, but enough to write a post. :) Have a great day!

My Surprise Weekend

A few weeks ago, Paul asked me if I had plans on the weekend of October 21-23. I immediately got curious and asked him why. He got all mischievous and said it was a surprise. So I kept my weekend free. Paul also made me promise not to "cheat" and look up things on the internet in order to figure out what he was planning. He said "I will know if you cheat" and I believed him, because he is a genius with computers and could probably tell what I was searching for on them, and also, Paul could probably know just by looking at me if I cheated. It drove me crazy though! I was SO tempted to try to figure out what was going on because I am not really keen on surprises. However, Paul LOVES to surprise me and he is always good at it. He did not fail this time either.

The first thing we did early in the afternoon on friday was drive to Madison. Even though I have lived in Milwaukee (only 1.5 hours away from Madison) for a few years now, we have never been to Madison. How Crazy. It turns out that that city is WAY cooler than Milwaukee and I was envious that we couldn't have lived there instead for the last 4-ish years. Anyway, we went to our hotel and unpacked. We turned on the TV in our room and it just so happened that a commercial came on almost right away about an "Electronic Liquidation Sale" at the Madison Aliant Energy Center. I turned to Paul and asked jokingly: "Is this what we are doing this weekend?!" Paul laughed and said: "Oh yeah, you figured it out! Bummer." I assumed he was joking (or rather hoped) and then we got ready to leave. I was going crazy trying to figure out the surprise. I also had no idea what to wear for such a surprise occasion, so Paul caved and told me to wear "nice clothes but jeans are okay" and that it was indoors. So off we went to our mystery place.

Paul gave me the GPS and I navigated. Soon, the GPS told us that our destination was on our right, and guess what it was? That's right, the Madison Aliant Energy Center! I freaked out. "Paul," I said as calmly as I could, "are we REALLY here for the liquidation sale??!" I was trying not to sound disappointed, but really, if that was the surprise, I was pretty bummed. Paul just chuckled. The sign at the front of the building flashed different events going on in the same building, so I started reading closely as we waited in a long line of cars to enter the parking lot. The first sign was about the liquidation sale. The second sign flashed about a Clydesdale Horse show. I looked up at Paul and again asked as nicely as I could if this was the surprise. Again, I was trying not to sound disappointed because really, Paul should know by now that I don't really care about horses. Paul just chuckled again. I was really starting to go crazy. Then the next, blessed sign came up: "Food and Wine show" and I shrieked in delight. I KNEW that it was the surprise. Paul knows how much I love food and wine. :) Paul grinned then and I was actually wonderfully surprised and excited.

On Friday night and Saturday and Sunday afternoon, we spent all of our time in this gigantic room tasting tons of different wines and spirits as well as lots and lots and lots of cheese, sausage, crackers, pastas, etc. It was mainly cheese, though. It's crazy, I always told Paul that my version of heaven was one where I could drink all the wine I wanted and eat cheese nonstop. This was heaven on earth! Except it will be better in heaven: I am lactose intolerant and since Paul didn't warn me, I did not have my pills along. Every night was a bit of agony on my stomach, but it was still worth it. There was this cool demonstration kitchen where chefs showed us how to make fancy meals and then let us sample them. We got to try a cool bruschetta with figs on it (weird combo but tasted great!), some fancy chicken dish whose name I have already forgotten, some fancy meatballs with fennel sauce, some delicious Pakistani food, and some shrimp and pork dumplings. Yum! We also watched a bit of "dueling chefs" which was a competition. It was fun to watch but it kept making us hungry and we weren't allowed to sample the foods they made, which was a bummer. 

All in all, the weekend went by way too quickly, and we ate WAY too much food. It was the best romantic surprise weekend ever! I am so happy that Paul decided to plan this for us to do. We bought a few things but for the most part, we ate so much of the foods at the 3 day food show that we did not see the need to buy more, even though it was all so delicious. Like I said earlier: It was heaven on earth...I just could have done with the lactose intolerance problem! :)

Seasonal Fall Fun

We have been having such amazing golden fall weather, so Paul and I have made sure to take full advantage of such a rare event. Normally, fall seasons seem to be only 1 week of prettiness followed by weeks and weeks of rain and frost. This year, we have had about 3 whole weeks of pretty weather! I finally got to see nature full of perfect fall-colored leaves. Ah, God's beauty is so amazing. :) Anyway, here are a few things we have done so far this fall season:

1) Me, Paul, and Rick went to an apple orchard.

*First thing we did was go in the corn maze. Before stepping inside the maze, we noticed that the entry and the exit were about 5 feet apart. We immediately assumed that this corn maze would be as easy as others we have done in the past. And sure enough, the "true path" was wide while the fake paths were unkept and tiny. We started joking about the "difficulty" of the maze, when suddenly, we realized that we had been walking the maze for a long time. The corn was so high that we could not tell directions, which is odd for me since I have a compass in my head. I hesitantly told the guys that I was pretty sure we were heading in the wrong direction of the exit. But we kept on trudging. A long while later, we found an alternate exit which was on the opposite side of the apple orchard. Our cart for the apples was by the entrance, so we had to walk all the way through the apple orchard to get our cart and then turn around and go through the orchard again. I still don't know how we were supposed to get out that shorter-distance exit...

*Anyway, we got plenty of apples. However, I was disappointed that the orchard did not have my new favorite apple, the honeycrisp apple. But they did have my second favorite, the Empire apple. So I made do with empires. I went home and made apple crisp, which was fantastic. Then, a few days later, I made apple cheesecake, and it was so, so good. We still have another large bag of apples and I can't decide whether to make apple crisp again or the cheesecake. Decisions, decisions...

2) My parents came for a visit and we went for a long hike in the kettle moraine forest.

*This pretty forest is located on the hilly indents left over from the glaciers of past times. I don't know how it all works, but I DO know that the forests are really pretty. You can climb towers located throughout the park to see far, far off into the distance. It was so pretty. The sun was shining and you could see different colored trees everywhere! It was a lot of hard work on my poor knees to go up and down such steep hills, but it was still my favorite way to do exercise. I could walk in the woods every day for the rest of my life and be incredibly happy. :)

3) We also went canoeing while my parents were in town.

*It was a bit disappointing because we WANTED to go upriver to the pretty nature areas. However, we couldn't fit the kayak (for my parents) and the canoe (for us) on the top of our vehicle. So we had to stick in Milwaukee. That was kind of a bummer because the part of the river we were on was sandwiched between two rapids that we couldn't navigate around. So we went upriver, turned around, went down river, turned around, went back up river, etc. Oh well, at least we were spending time outdoors in the golden sunshine! It was fun to see the salmon running as well.

4) Paul and I found a paved path through nature somewhat near our house!

*We have always been frustrated in the past because I want to go on plenty of walks, but if we want to walk somewhere pretty, we need to drive at least 30 minutes to get to pretty areas. UGH. But I accidentally found a new path closer to our house and now we go on walks on the path at least 2 times a week. I wish people told you about those kind of things. But as far as I can tell, there is no way to know about this particular path unless you get curious about it, look it up on the google satellite map, and then decide to risk it and just go. How lame. But anyway, it's nice enough. It has woods all around it, so I get to enjoy some nature and feel safe while walking with my dog and my hubby. We have spent way more time outdoors this fall than in the past!

I hope the good weather continues to last. If it does, perhaps I can write another post on the awesomeness of fall... :)

~Raven

Different Expressions of Faith

While procrastinating from my chores, I ended up somehow or another reading an article from Focus on the Family's website. Here: When Your Faith Expression Differs From Your Spouse  I found this article fascinating. I suppose, in one way, it's just common sense to say that everyone worships God differently. However, at the same time, it made me realize that Paul and I are probably different when it comes to worshiping God. Not only that, but other people in general worship God differently from me. I need to be okay with that. As Paul and I struggle trying to find a church that "fits" for us, I need to remember that even if a certain church does not "fit" for us, it might "fit" for plenty of others. I should try not to criticize them as much...not an easy thing to do for someone as opinionated as me. :)

Anyway, I am eager to bring up this question to my beloved hubby tonight: "How do you express your faith?" It's odd, I mean, I have some ideas of how he worships God, but I am still curious to how he will answer. For me, it's easy. I worship God through song and nature. I sing all the time. Random, odd things that I make up on the spot, but singing nonetheless. Singing is how I express my emotions. I have always felt closer to God if I am singing or listening to a majestically beautiful song. Granted, I am picky about my songs. Perhaps that is because that is how I express my adoration for God. If we sing a song in church, it has to be perfect, and sadly, I don't find modern Christian songs to be perfect enough. So my way of praising and worshiping God has dwindled lately. I told Paul once that I feel like my soul is like a gas tank. When I hear and sing even one beautiful song in church, my "gas tank soul" goes from empty to overflowing. I often cry while singing in church. I get tingles. It is beautiful. However, when I go through service after service with weak-lyric modern songs, I feel like my "gas tank soul" is on empty. I feel as distant as can be from God. It's a struggle for me, but now that I have a piano and old hymnals in my house, I can make up for it at least a little.

I also worship God through nature. When Paul and I go on nature hikes or go fishing, I feel close to God. We just went on a walk the other day. It was on a trail in Milwaukee, but with trees surrounding us, I could at least pretend that we were far from the city. There was a tree along the path that was full of golden leaves and the sun was hitting it just right so it shined and shimmered like golden beauty at its' best. I couldn't stop telling Paul how wonderful God is and how amazing He was because he made such a gloriously golden tree. Paul humored me and listened, but this simple natural site was clearly helping me worship God more than Paul. And that's okay. Just because I cannot help but marvel at God whenever I see anything amazing in nature does not mean that Paul has to be the same way. And like the article mentioned above says, having different ways of worshiping God is a good thing. How cool is that?

At the end of the article was this: Spiritual Temperament Quiz. I took that as well. In a nutshell, it seems that my spiritual temperament is: naturalist, enthusiast, and contemplative. What about you? What is your spiritual temperament? How do you express your faith? I am deeply curious about this. So please, if you feel comfortable, comment below and let me know!

The disappointing weekend

Well, I tried. This past week, after much thinking, I decided it was time to try even harder at making friends in Milwaukee. Part of me doesn't see why I should bother, since I am getting out of here as fast as possible next spring/summer. In the meantime, however, it's just me, Paul, and Rick. Just like the last 3 years. Yay. It gets really lonely thinking that I only have 2 friends in Milwaukee, and they both moved here from Michigan with me. I especially want a female friend. I find myself telling Paul about fashion stuff or craft things, and I know he doesn't care. He tries, but sometimes it would really be nice to go shopping at Joann's fabric store with a female instead of having Paul wait in the car or stand next to me in the store awkwardly. It's impossible to meet anyone at work. I am an adjunct professor: I go in, teach in a random classroom, and go home. I don't have an office. I don't even know where the history department is. I don't know what other teachers look like. I only know my boss, and that doesn't count.

Anyway, this week I tried to think of some places where I could meet some new friends. I thought about what I liked, and came up with gardening. However, apparently Milwaukee isn't as passionate about gardening and herbs as me. (Another reason I cannot WAIT til we move to South Carolina: they LOVE herbs down there). I tried finding groups to join in the Milwaukee area that center on gardening somehow. Maybe I'm not good with google, but all I found was one older ladies' gardening group that meets in Whitefish Bay. According to their website, they are most likely rich ladies that stay at home in their pretty mansions and have a rather exclusive gardening club to deal with after their charity meetings. Or whatever it is rich ladies do. Anyway, it was clear from their website that you can't just come to a meeting. You need to be invited. So scratch out that idea. Then, I found a place called Sweet Water Organics. It is an aquaponics urban farm and they needed volunteers. So I decided that on Friday, I would go to their meeting and volunteer and meet like-minded gardeners. Yay! Then, Paul found an ad on Craigslist about a free Gardening Seed Exchange thing on Saturday. According to the ad, everyone with extra seeds or bulbs or divided plants can come to this exchange and trade seeds/etc. with each other. The only rule was that all trading had to be free. I was super excited. I was determined to use this opportunity to meet fellow-gardeners and maybe give blog information out to them or something (I have a gardening blog). In addition, Paul and I decided to just go to this particular church (that has a terrible website) and hope that there would be a young adults/couples sunday-school type thing. So there it was. THREE days to try to meet new people. How could anything go wrong?

Well, actually, it all went wrong:

Friday:
*I went to the orientation. I went inside the building's store, expecting to find fresh produce that would make me smile. I even brought a grocery list so that I could support them and get fresh veggies. Imagine my disappointment when I walked into an empty-ish room with a bunch of t-shirts and 1 grocery bag full of tomatoes and 1 plastic container of sprouts. How could this be a store for a farm? Where were the products? During the orientation, it became clear that they only really grow lettuce and sprouts, which they mainly sell to local restaurants. They needed volunteers to come in and cut lettuce and clean it and put it in packages or they needed carpenters to make more aquaponic frames. That was it. I did not feel passionate about being a lettuce factory worker. I wanted to join a group of people passionate about farming, NOT factory type work to make a profit! Blegh. So I left feeling rather sad. There weren't even many people in that building to try to make friends with! I counted three workers. All guys. So that attempt was a FAIL.

Saturday:
*I convinced Paul to take me to the Seed Exchange because it was in a part of town that makes me nervous. On the drive there, it started raining pretty hard. I didn't think anything of it, but when we got to the location, there was nothing there. A few abandoned stands. So apparently it was cancelled due to rain. How tragic. This one is probably not Milwaukee's fault but rather Mother Natures... So that attempt was a FAIL.

Sunday:
*We forced our shy-selves to go to the church. We got there a bit early, always great for the awkwardly shy couple. Right. We shyly walked up to the welcome desk where we were not talked to by anyone. We found the room number for a young adult/couples group. We shyly walked into the room. There was one lady in there. We awkwardly talked to the one lady for a few minutes and she suggested we sit at one of the tables. There were three tables. We decided rather boldly to sit at the same table as this lady. Others walked in the room and sat at the other tables. At the last minute, a visiting missionary couple sat next to us. So it was the lady, us, and two visiting people at our table. That was all. We never talked to the other table full of people who clearly knew each other. We did the lesson. We awkwardly got up and left. Blegh. So I can pretty much consider that attempt a FAIL as well. We decided we should try (desperately) to be optimistic and we are going to try that church group again next week. But we will arrive JUST in time or even a little late so it's not so bad (hopefully).

So, I tried to meet people all weekend long and nothing worked. It's really hard to keep trying when things like that happen. I think I will clear away the disappointment from this weekend now by watching football all day long with Paul and Rick. Just like old times. Yay.

Whew...what a summer!

It's been forever since I last posted anything. That's what happens when summer is busy and fun! :) Also, I've been spending a lot of my time working on a new blog all about herbs and gardening, so that took up a lot of my 'computer time' for the day.

Hmm...where to start? Here's a basic summary of my whole summer:
June:
*left for Michigan the day after Paul was done teaching. Stayed in Michigan for a whole week and saw all of our family members and plenty of friends. If I remember correctly, this was when Paul's sister was in a sidewalk chalk competition in Byron Center, so we walked through their adorable little town to see all the cool art. I love how tiny Byron Center is! I hope our future home is in a small town or in the country...
*Then we left for South Carolina with our friends Rick and Kyle. Our boat trailer broke in Kentucky at around 5am, which was quite an annoying adventure. :) In South Carolina, we visited Beaufort, Hilton Head, and Savannah for two weeks. We went fishing for red fish and shark. It was a pretty good time.

July:
*We went back to Milwaukee for two weeks. While there, Paul painted most of the outside of our house (just a little bit more to do!), I worked on gardening, and we did other fixing up jobs around the house to get it ready to put up for sale.
*We then left for Michigan again. We spent THREE weeks in a row in Michigan at this time: 1st week: we spent some nights out at Gun Lake to see camping friends and family, and we saw other family members and friends, and Paul painted his parents' house for some nice cash. 2nd week: We went on our traditional trip to Young State Park on Lake Charlevoix. It was okay, not as good as past years, but always fun! We played lots of volleyball, went fishing, and played some board games. 3rd week: We saw more family and friends, including Cindy and Joe, who are moving Far Away, and we went to Fenn Valley Vineyards Winery (my favorite wine!), and went to a wedding.

August:
*By the second week of August, we were back in Milwaukee. We continued to work on the house, including spray painting the fridge in our kitchen white so that it wasn't so yellow/70s looking, and working on sanding the basement steps and staining them (WAY harder than we thought because the steps had some nasty glue on them that was difficult to get out). I bought and planted more herbs and I did more research on herbs.
*My little brother Jim and his fiance' Becky came to Milwaukee to see us and her brother, who lives in the area as well. It was great having them around for a week! We played plenty of games and ate good food.


Now, I am in the process of drying herbs for the winter. This is harder than I thought. The problem is, the plants are all beautiful and healthy right now, but if I don't dry them now, their taste/medicinal value will decline. So I have to go through the pain of cutting down healthy plants over and over again. It's very difficult. I can only do a few per day before I get too depressed.

I am also working on my quilt, and I am getting closer: only 30 more squares to go! Blegh. Once the squares are done, I am sure my passion for sewing the quilt will come back too...I hope so at least. The two problems that I came across with my new quilting hobby: (1) I HATE changing the spools and bobbins of thread. I don't know if it's my sewing machine or because I have problems with technology, but it always takes me at least 1 hour to finally have the new thread ready to go. And much swearing happens in that 1 hour, which is odd because I don't usually swear. But when you keep reading the manual and doing things EXACTLY like the manual says and it still won't work, it gets frustrating. So every time I need to put more thread on my machine, I stop working on my quilt for about 3 weeks because I don't want to try rethreading it again... (2) Sewing at my sewing machine hurts my neck. I think I need a shorter chair, but I am too Dutch to buy one. I can only sew for about 1 hour before my neck is so sore that I get a headache and I usually have to take a shower for the pain. Sewing shouldn't hurt!

Hmm...what else have we been up to? We are getting more and more excited about moving to South Carolina. We wish we could move now. But we are probably putting our house up for sale later this fall, so the excitement from that should hopefully help.  Also, I got this exciting news from a teaching associate about a job at MATC, a Milwaukee Community College that I have always wanted to work at (they pay AMAZING). So I applied for the job and had references and vocal support from this teaching associate, who works there and has good connections. 30 minutes after I applied online, they called me and told me to fix something on my application. I figured this was all great news that really hinted that I would get the job. However, currently, I have not heard from them again. I am not sure what happened. But God knows what He is doing in my life. But that was a crazy two day adventure, where I was certain that I would be teaching two more history courses this semester and I only would have had three days to prepare for them! Yikes! Maybe it's a good thing I didn't have to go through all of that stress. In the meantime, I teach the 'same ole same ole' so that means that I don't have much to prepare. It also means that I will probably have plenty of time on my hands this fall. I am currently looking at volunteering at a local urban farm. It would be fun and it would allow me to garden during the fall when my plants would be starting to die (that is, the ones that I don't cut down for drying). It's a hydroponics garden and it's indoors, so they are open all year round. AND they use fish to fertilize their products and sell those as well. So I could be surrounded by fish and plants. Sounds like heaven. :)

Other than that, here are some things that I am looking forward to:
*Going to a Scottish Highland Festival with Rick and Julie
*Having Julie come visit! (EEK!)
*Having Paul's parents visit
*Having Rick's brothers visit
*Having my parents visit

In case you can't tell, it's gonna be a crazy month! :)

I really don't understand people sometimes

Over the past few years, I have been having getting very frustrated with people due to what they say during our conversations. Maybe it's because I am a mature adult who considers other people's feelings and use perception to see how people react to my words, while other people just say whatever they want, even if it's very rude. It's not just rude things, either, but how people don't recognize their mistakes in conversation AND FIX THEM. Here are a bunch of examples. I am sure there are more, but these are the ones that really, really bug me:

1) The Press-Me-Constantly-About-My-Name Conversation:

    Person: "Hi Cris, nice to meet you. What's your REAL name?"
    Me: "I go by the name Cris"
    Person: "Ha ha, no really, what's your real name?"

This goes on and on until I finally cave and say my name once. I then say: "Don't ever call me that though because I go by the name Cris" There are two different responses that I get to this EVERY TIME: (a) "Okay, sure, CRYSTAL...ha ha" (b) "Why don't you like your real name? It's SO beautiful!"

Okay, WHY does this ever even have to come up? If I introduce myself as 'Cris', why do you even care about the details of my birth name? Just call me 'Cris' and leave it at that. When YOU introduce yourself to me, I never say: "Can you please tell me your first, middle, and last names? What's your social security number? Your date of birth?" Etc. Because these details don't matter. All that matters is that I am honoring you with my name, so that we can get to know each other and perhaps become friends. By pressing me for this pointless information, it tells me that you are pushy, nosy, and not worth the hassle of getting to know.

Also, if option b happens, this is frustrating too. WHAT on earth are you expecting as my reaction?!? I don't understand. Are you expecting me to say: "Really? You think my full name is beautiful? Golly, thanks! I will start going by that name now instead of 'Cris'! Thanks for making me realize all of this! Wow!" I am not going to say this. WHY are you bothering complimenting a name that I clearly dislike? Just call me 'Cris' and leave the whole thing alone.


2) The Constant-Correction-Of-My-Name Conversation.

Let me start by saying that I am guilty of this sometimes. But here is where I am different from others: When I make a mistake about your name, I apologize and think about it over and over and feel really bad and I NEVER MAKE THE MISTAKE AGAIN!

An example: One time at Christmas, I called one of my cousins by his childhood name, 'Nicky'. He was just becoming a teenager at the time and he responded shortly to me: "I go by 'Nick' now." I immediately apologized and felt terrible about it. When I got home that day, I looked at his picture and said "Nick. Nick. Nick. Etc." Over and over and over and over, until I stopped seeing him in my head as 'Nicky' anymore. Clearly, this was something that was important to him, so I did everything that I could to respect that. Now, every time I see him, I call him 'Nick'. I am pretty sure that I will never make that mistake again. I don't know if he realizes it, but it's still important to ME that I never offend someone that is important to me.

Here's where it gets frustrating: People don't seem to take the time to care for ME the way that I care for them. I still have countless people in my life that call me by my full name. They are my friends on facebook, which clearly states my name as 'Cris'. They are both friends and family members, who get letters and presents from me with my name clearly stated as 'Cris'. They are people who constantly get corrected by me, first politely, then more and more coldly. They never seem to learn. I don't understand it. WHY don't these people care for me the way that I care for them? WHY don't these people try to fix their mistakes? If anyone has an idea or theory, let me know. Because every time someone close to me calls me by my full name, I think they don't care for my feelings the way that I care about theirs. And it hurts.

This is where I will give a shout-out to my husband Paul. When we were friends in high school, he never asked me about my preference for 'Cris'. To this day, he has never called me by my full name. At our wedding, he told the pastor that he was calling me 'Cris'. The pastor tried to explain that legally he needed to say my full name just once, and Paul refused. I love him so much for never, ever, trying to change me or push me about something that I am very sensitive about. :)

3) The Kid-Conversation

There are a few different ways that kids are brought up to me and Paul in conversation: (a) Why don't you have kids yet? (b) When are you having kids? (c) Why aren't you interested in having kids?

All three of these questions are incredibly rude. This topic is something private and intimate for the couple only. Even if you are a family member, it is NONE of your business until we approach it and tell you of our own free will. For example, we took both sets of parents aside early on and told them that we were never having children. End of story. But why do strangers, siblings, distant relatives, friends, acquaintances, etc. think that they have the right to ask us these private questions?!? What if I was unable to have kids or was having multiple miscarriages? Neither is true, but if it WAS, your questions could break my heart. If you think about it, there is no way at all that these questions can have a positive outcome. They are, plain and simple, terribly inconsiderate questions. You should be ashamed of yourselves for asking ANYONE these things. And yet, I get asked these questions all of the time. I cannot believe that so many people in this world are so rude and/or don't think about other people when they open their big mouths.


4) The Try-To-Convince-Me-To-Have-Kids Conversation

Person: "But children are a gift from God!!!"
Okay, what on earth do you expect to hear as my reaction to this!?!? ARGH. You would not believe how many times I hear this argument. I always wonder what you expect from me. Do you really think that this simple, not-even-really-an-argument line is going to change our opinions?!? Do you expect me to react by having my eyes get wide and say: "Golly. Wow! Really? Paul, did you hear? A gift from God! Oh my goodness, well, that changes everything! Golly, Golly, Golly! I am going to have SO many babies now!"

Sorry to burst your bubble, but I am not going to say that. I am not a stupid, foolish, impulsive person. I am a mature adult. Paul and I have had many, MANY conversations about children and those conversations are none of your business. At the end of every one of those conversations, we strongly, 100% agreed that we were not interested in having kids. So leave us alone. Stop trying to convince us otherwise. Why can't we be the best aunt and uncle ever and leave it at that?

Do you see me going up to people that have kids and doing the opposite: "WHY did you decide to have kids? Don't you know that kids are expensive? Etc." If I did that, it would be pretty dang rude, wouldn't it? So why do people think that it's okay to do the opposite?!? I wish that I could say that only strangers and acquaintances did this. However, even close family members and friends think that they have good arguments to change our minds. Please, I am begging you. STOP asking us about kids! I have a WHOLE list of reasons why I do not want to have kids, and you know what? I am not going to share them with people because I don't want to offend people who have kids or want to have kids. If I don't want to offend YOU, can't you do me the same courtesy and try not to offend US? Can't we all be mature, perceptive adults?

5) The How-Old-Are-You-Exactly Conversation.
I do not understand our culture and its' obsession with age. WHY does it matter to know EXACTLY how old I am? I understand the government and doctors need to know my date of birth. But why do other people care? I know so many people who go on and on and on about the ages of everyone in the group:
A) "You are two years older than me, and I still hang out with you! How crazy" (Why does this matter? After high school, everyone is about the same maturity level. Age doesn't matter anymore!)

B) Person: "How old are you, Cris?"
     Me: "I am in my twenties"
     Person: "Ha ha, no really. How old are you?"
     Me: "I actually don't know anymore. I stopped keeping track when I turned 18"
     Person: "Ha ha. What year were you born?"
     Me: "It doesn't matter."
     Person: "No really. I need to know how old you are..."
They will keep pressing like annoying little pests until I cave. I usually say that I am 18, so they go to Paul or Rick, ask for their age, and assume that I am the same age as them. This pisses me off so much. Clearly, I do not want to know my age. Clearly, I think this conversation is rude and I try to make a joke out of it. Clearly, I think your obsession with knowing exactly how old I am is stupid. Yet you do not rest until you know. WHY? WHY does this matter so much to you? Just shut up about it and LEAVE ME ALONE.

C) I get facebook messages AND birthday cards in which people say "Happy ##st Birthday!" I write back or call and say: "I do not care to know exactly how old I am. So please stop doing this. They ignore my requests and keep doing it! I throw away their cards and delete their facebook messages. They write new ones! WHY do they think this is funny?!? You are being rude and mean. You are not funny. I am not pleased. When you do this, I feel like excluding you from my life permanently because you clearly do not care about my feelings.

I do not understand people's obsession with age. I figure that I am as young as I feel and as young as I want to be. When you hurl exact numbers at me, you make me feel depressed about being old and make me depressed because you clearly do not care about my feelings. STOP being so mean to me! Why would you want to be mean to people that you care about? I don't understand.



Okay, whew. I no longer feel like punching the next person I meet who makes these mistakes. I feel better just getting it all out in this blog. If you are reading this post and find yourself guilty of any of these things, to me or to other people, if possible, can you explain why it happens? I simply cannot understand why people say these kind of things to other people. I would love to understand, so if you have any ideas, please share them.

Thanks for reading! :)

Why do I want to move to South Carolina?

People keep asking me why Paul and I want to move to South Carolina. So I thought I would make a long list of reasons. I am sure there are more, but this is a good start:

1) It's not crappy Wisconsin! We hate it here so much. I should make a list of 'why I hate Wisconsin' someday...

2) We love the idea that we can fish almost all year round, instead of up here in the north, where the lakes freeze over (we think ice fishing is lame)

3) Upstate South Carolina (where we want to live) has mountains for us to go on hikes! I can't wait to live minutes from excellent hiking conditions. (Here in Milwaukee, I can't even go for a walk around the block by myself because there are too many creepy people)

4) In Upstate SC, we can live on lakefront property for relatively cheap (and catch 50 pound striper bass every day!) AND we can fish on the ocean with relative ease (it's only 3.5 hours away)

5) Paul has always wanted to live somewhere without snow. I love snow, but it DOES result in less fishing. It was difficult for me to agree to move somewhere where I can't shovel snow, but fishing always wins. :)

6) Paul has family members living in the area, so we can actually live by family again! And my parents have always wanted to move to SC, so hopefully when we move down there, they won't be far behind. And my brother Jim and his fiance' are thinking about moving to the Carolinas someday, so we might live by them as well! I can't stand being alone in this awful state. I love family.

7) Our best friends (at least Kyle and Rick, still working on Kevin/Amanda...) are willing to move to SC with us due to the weather and fishing conditions. :)

8) There are teaching jobs available in the Carolinas! I would gladly move to Michigan if there were teaching jobs AND we could fish all year long. Sorry Michigan, SC has you beat.

9) There is a good herb community in the Carolinas! I have been obsessed with gardening and studying the cooking and medicinal potential of herbs, and there are many schools and clubs in the Carolinas that focus on herbs. I can't wait to learn more and get connected!

10) There are multiple 'active young people' clubs available to join in Upstate SC. We can join a casual hiking group, a canoeing group, etc.

11) There are not many fishing guides in Upstate SC, and Paul senses an opening there that he can possibly fill. He has always wanted to be a fishing guide...

Well, that's all I can think of right now. We are so excited to  live somewhere where we can be more active and social. I can't wait!

What is on my heart...

You ever meet someone that is the anti-you? That happened to me recently, and now my heart feels down and I feel very depressed. We were at the same place, and there was no avoiding conversation. Ugh. I can't stop feeling negative things right now like: anger, annoyance, guilt, sadness, shame, depression, grief...

I found some Bible verses that I wish the anti-me would read, but since I don't think that the anti-me knows that he/she has a problem, I will read them and just pray. And hey, while I am at it, I will share them with anyone who reads my journal-type blog:

PSA 34:13 keep your tongue from evil and your lips from speaking lies. 

101:5 Whoever slanders his neighbor in secret, him will I put to silence; whoever has haughty eyes and a proud heart, him will I not endure. 

PRO 11:9 With his mouth the godless destroys his neighbor, but through knowledge the righteous escape. 

13 A gossip betrays a confidence, but a trustworthy man keeps a secret. 

16:28 A perverse man stirs up dissension, and a gossip separates close friends. 

18:8 The words of a gossip are like choice morsels; they go down to a man's inmost parts. 

20:19 A gossip betrays a confidence; so avoid a man who talks too much. 

MAT 12:36 But I tell you that men will have to give account on the day of judgment for every careless word they have spoken. 

EPH 4:29 Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen. 

31 Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice. 

1PE 2:1 Therefore, rid yourselves of all malice and all deceit, hypocrisy, envy, and slander of every kind. 

3:10 For, "Whoever would love life and see good days must keep his tongue from evil and his lips from deceitful speech.

I love going Home to Michigan!

A week ago, I had to opportunity to go Home again. There was a historical medieval conference in Kalamazoo, Michigan and I was done teaching for the semester. I went to the conference last year, and I had a blast. It is so great to learn more about medieval things AND know that I am not the only medieval nerd in the world! It is an international meeting, so there is an opportunity to hear plenty of languages and learn about different cultures and different ways to approach medieval research. Paul gave me permission to spend money on the conference and I came over on the train b/c I will never try to drive through Evil Chicago. There WAS a catch, however: Paul had to stay back in Milwaukee to work AND I was missing our five-year wedding anniversary.

This was the first time we were separated for more than one night since I left for Greece for a month in 2006 (before we were married). I was gone for five nights. Thus, it was wonderful going back to Michigan but it wasn't the same as normal because I was missing my other half...

Anyway, here was my week:
*Tuesday: Spent the whole day on a train. There was a terrible delay in Chicago, resulting in an hour delay where we all stood up for the whole time in a crowded line. Then, two more groups using the same platform had to squeeze in the same small room as us, so it was chaotic and claustrophobic. Ugh. I hate Chicago and I hate trains.
*Wednesday: I spent the ENTIRE day with my family. :) It was wonderful. My mom, Jim, Becky, and I watched my darling nephew Q-bear and niece Izzy for the whole day, and then Jon, Amanda, (and dad, of course) were there for dinner. It was such a lovely day...the only one missing was my Paul.
*Thursday: Various conference lectures from 10-5pm, followed by dinner with my mother-in-law, and sisters-in-laws Christy and Katie.
*Friday: Various conference lectures from 10-5pm, followed by dinner and constant talking with my best friend Julie. (from 6-10pm, we never stopped talking!) This was followed by a phone call to Paul because it was our anniversary.
*Saturday: Various conference lectures from 10-5pm, followed by dinner with the in-laws and a lame 80s movie. :)
*Sunday: Spent the whole day on a train. There was, fortunately, only a small delay, not as long as the first trip.

Overall, it was a great blend of scholarly learning and family time. It would have been perfect if Paul was with me. I don't think I can stay away from Paul for five nights again. After two nights, I started talking to myself. After three nights, I started randomly crying for no reason. That was weird. We shall see if I go next year. Like I said, I don't think that I can be apart from Paul for that long.

For now, I am doing household chores and applying to jobs both here and in South Carolina. Paul is finishing up his school year (he is done on June 15). Then, we go off to Michigan TOGETHER for a few days and then off on a fun fishing trip in South Carolina for a few weeks, and I am sure that I will have fun adventure stories to tell at that time. :)

Here are a few of my favorite pictures from my time at Home:

This picture shows my mom's adoration for her grandchildren as well as how my Q-bear can be quite the ham. Notice the "hat" that he gave his sister? Incredibly adorable.

 Now it's MY turn to get a picture taken with my nephew and niece. I love them so much. :)





 My darling niece Izzy is only three-ish months old, but she is so attentive and smart! Of course, she is also beautiful. :) Izzy loves trying to crawl (which she is WAY too young to be attempting), loves looking at her mobile on top of her swing, loves snuggling, loves trying to talk to you, and is overall a wonderful little baby. My mom had a lot of fun trying different outfits out on Izzy, which makes me curious to how this will turn out in the future. My mom never had the opportunity to dress me up, since I decided to be an independent spit-fire tomboy from a very early age. :)

My sweet nephew Q-bear, or, possibly with a new nickname of Curly-Q, due to his adorable mop of curls, is two and a half years old and is WAY too smart! He calmly gave directions to my mom on the drive to her house, and knows his left from his right. He enjoys trying (a bit unsuccessfully) to tell jokes as well as learning about things. "What's that, Aunt Cris" "Why is that brown, Aunt Cris" And many more questions about everything. He noticed that Uncle Paul was missing and asked if we could wait until he arrived before eating dinner. This picture is of Q-bear putting my glasses on and posing for the camera. What fun! We are hoping to take him fishing this summer.

After dinner, my dad had loads of fun with Quentin by chasing him around the yard with Q-bear's lawnmower toy. Quentin's giggles and screams of delight could be heard, I am sure, by the entire neighborhood. I sat on the porch with my mom and just watched and smiled. :)

My brother Jim has a fantastic fiance'. I approve. :)  They are leaving for Africa soon, so I won't see them this summer. :( But I wish them well, as they visit Becky's parents in Africa, work for her parents, and also have plenty of adventures such as safari-type trips. I can't believe my baby brother is so grown-up! And aren't they just adorable?!? :)

Easter Vacation

For the first time since we were both in our undergraduate days at GVSU, my husband and I shared some spring break vacation time! This doesn't usually happen because I teach college and he teaches high school. However, this year, I am teaching at a semi-religious college (it gets funding from Lutheran regional churches), so in addition to my spring break, I got an Easter Break. :) For Easter, I got Thursday and Friday off, and since I don't work Wednesdays as well, that meant that Paul only had TWO days to himself for vacation instead of the entire week. We decided that since this rarity might not occur again for a long time, we were going to make the best of it. Immediately, we thought about going Home to Michigan for our entire time. Then we started thinking about how hectic that always is and how we would not be very relaxed. Then we thought about going to the Wisconsin Dells or something special for some of that time. However, then we had to think of someone to watch our dog, and Rick was leaving for Michigan.

Eventually, we came up with a great compromise and genius plan: We spent some romantic and relaxing time from Tuesday night to Thursday evening in southern Michigan, and then ended our Easter break with time with family and friends. We found the perfect place to stay for our adventure: a cozy cabin in Niles, Michigan. Dogs were allowed and it had a lot of acres of woods, AND it was close to a whole bunch of wineries. It was the most amazing mini-vacation with my husband EVER! The cabin is a perfect balance of "roughing it" and "comfort". We loved how the only way to heat the cabin was with a wood stove. I love the smell of wood stoves, and combine that with: snuggling on a couch, in front of the stove, with our dog at our feet and a glass of wine in our hands after going for a long walk in the woods...sigh...I want to go back. I could live like that and be happy forever. We went to plenty of wineries and learned a lot about what types of wines we prefer, which is really helpful.

We made it up to Paul's parents' home in time for dinner on Thursday. We then soaked in their hot tub and just relaxed some more. Friday was a bit more hectic: Paul went fishing in the morning with his buddy Greg, we hung out with Julie during the day, and then visited our friends Rusty and Staci and their two kids at night. There was a storm at night, so we spent some time watching a movie with his parents and watching our dog (who is afraid of storms) go crazy.  On Saturday, we had Easter family time with Paul's family. We went as a family to the butterfly exhibit at Frederick Meijer Gardens and then had kabobs for dinner. After his siblings left, we followed that up with some more hot tub relaxing. :)  On Sunday, Paul and I went to Friendship CRC like we used to, and it was so great enjoying a church service again (something that doesn't happen here in Milwaukee). Then we headed on to see my family....LOTS of my family. :)  It was wonderful seeing my cousins and parents and siblings and EVERYONE again! I didn't want to leave. We ate good food and played fun games and just caught up on lost time. Unfortunately, we still had to leave for Milwaukee and so we headed off for the long and annoying journey back to our Milwaukee house. 

This was one of the best Easters that I can remember. I love that we got to relax and have some time to ourselves as well as see family and friends. It was such a great balance. Also, by staying in Niles, Michigan for a few nights, it made the journey Home way shorter. It took only 3 hours to get there from Milwaukee, and then only 1.5 hours to get from Niles to Byron Center. In the future, I hope we have similar vacation times and that we can do that again. I hope everyone else had great Easter breaks! :)

So good to go Home!

This past weekend, Paul and I went home to see family. My brother Jon and his lovely wife Amanda had just introduced their new daughter Isabella Mae to their family, and I was eager to meet my first niece. It was so wonderful to see family and (a few) friends in wonderful Michigan! I wish I lived closer to my loved ones, but that will never happen if my loved ones can't be persuaded to move to South Carolina with us in a few years! Michigan has no teaching jobs so we will never be able to live there again. So I shall just have to hope and pray that my loved ones are eager for a South Carolina adventure like we are! :)

While in town, we were quite busy, as always:

On Friday, we saw Julie for lunch, Jon/Amanda/Isabella in the afternoon, and Paul's parents for dinner/evening.

On Saturday, we saw my parents in the morning, went to our nephew Wes' birthday party in the afternoon, and saw Rick, Kevin, and Kyle for dinner/evening fun.

On Sunday, we left right after lunch.

Even though time went quick, we didn't see everyone we wanted (like our nephew Quentin, who was napping during our entire visit to his sister Isabella! Boo!), and we came home tired and already homesick for Michigan, it was still good to come Home. Here is a picture of me and my new niece. Once upon a time, I was not fond of the idea of having a niece, since I don't understand females very well. However, I fell in love with Isabella at first sight! I hope we get along as she gets older! :)
Here is another picture of me, Paul, and Isabella. Jon said while taking the picture: 'Wow, Paul is actually smiling for the camera!' And it's true! I think that means that Paul was as proud and happy of the newest addition to our family as I was. :)

In other news, I have been working hard on my new year's goals: I have been working on my afghan, my quilt, and we finished the 30 day shred! woo hoo! Now we are starting a new exercise routine with our friends. We made an online calendar so that we can all see the exercises no matter where we live. When we do the exercise for the day, we put our names on that day of the online calendar. That way, it makes it both an accountability thing and a competition between friends to help us all push at working out diligently. We shall see how that works out!

Personality Test

I love taking personality tests. Every time I take them, I get the same answer. I always agree with the answer too. But I love to take these tests every once in a while anyway. Why? Well, just by reading about my personality, it is clear why: I like to observe myself (instead of always observing others) occasionally! :) Here is the concluding data about my type of personality. What type are YOU? I would love to know the answer, because I love to know about my friends and family. :) My apologies if you don't find this information as fascinating as I do. There is a chance that people reading this information about me will now understand me a little bit better:

Introverted Sensing Feeling Judging

(ISFJ)

General Info:

1)      ISFJs are characterized above all by their desire to serve others, their "need to be needed."

2)      ISFJs are often unappreciated, at work, home, and play. Ironically, because they prove over and over that they can be relied on for their loyalty and unstinting, high-quality work, those around them often take them for granted--even take advantage of them. Admittedly, the problem is sometimes aggravated by the ISFJs themselves; for instance, they are notoriously bad at delegating ("If you want it done right, do it yourself"). And although they're hurt by being treated like doormats, they are often unwilling to toot their own horns about their accomplishments because they feel that although they deserve more credit than they're getting, it's somehow wrong to want any sort of reward for doing work (which is supposed to be a virtue in itself).

3)      ISFJs place a great deal of importance on their personal relationships. They're generally very giving and loving people, who place the needs of others above their own. They sometimes have a problem with becoming overly emotionally needy, and with keeping their true feelings hidden from others. They take their commitments very seriously, and seek lifelong relationships. ISFJs are extremely dependable, and put forth a lot of energy into keeping things running smoothly.

4) The ISFJ is very warm and selfless. They'll put forth tremendous amounts of energy and time into doing what they feel is their duty. What makes them feel best about themselves is when others show them their appreciation of the ISFJ. Consequently, the best gift that the partner of an ISFJ can give them is the expression of their love and appreciation. 

5) ISFJs have difficulty with conflict situations, and would much prefer to just sweep things under the rug. Sometimes facing a conflict situation helps to resolve it, and the ISFJ should realize that the world will not end if they face the conflict, and express how they feel about it. It's a common problem for ISFJ's to not express their feelings until pushed to some limit, after which they explode in anger and say things which they later feel they shouldn't have said. These kinds of outbursts can be reduced by expressing their feelings on a more regular basis, rather than keeping them pent up inside. 

6) In general, the ISFJ is usually a traditional, family-minded individual who places the comfort of their mates and families as their first priority in life. They're great for providing for everyday basic needs, and have a depth of caring which is very unusual, and not found in most types. They highly invested in the health of their relationships, and will work very hard to make things run smoothly.

ISFJs generally have the following traits:

• Large, rich inner store of information which they gather about people
• Highly observant and aware of people's feelings and reactions
• Excellent memory for details which are important to them
• Very in-tune with their surroundings - excellent sense of space and function
• Can be depended on to follow things through to completion
• Will work long and hard to see that jobs get done
• Stable, practical, down-to-earth - they dislike working with theory and abstract thought
• Dislike doing things which don't make sense to them
• Value security, tradition, and peaceful living
• Service-oriented: focused on what people need and want
• Kind and considerate
• Likely to put others' needs above their own
• Learn best with hands-on training
• Enjoy creating structure and order
• Take their responsibilities seriously
• Extremely uncomfortable with conflict and confrontation

Family:

1)      While their work ethic is high on the ISFJ priority list, their families are the centers of their lives.

2)      ISFJs are extremely warm and demonstrative within the family circle--and often possessive of their loved ones, as well.

3)      They place a strong emphasis on conventional behavior, and if any of their nearest and dearest depart from the straight-and-narrow, it causes the ISFJ major embarrassment: the closer the relationship and the more public the act, the more intense the embarrassment. Over time, however, ISFJs usually mellow, and learn to regard the culprits as harmless eccentrics :-).

4)      ISFJs take infinite trouble over meals, gifts, celebrations, etc., for their loved ones.

5)      ISFJs are committed to their marriage partners. They have very intense feelings, which is not immediately apparent to others because they tend to hold things inside themselves without expressing them, unless they have a strong reason to do so. Their intensity of feeling makes their intimate relationship their first priority in life, with the possible exception of God. They seek monogamous, lifelong commitments, and can be depended upon to be faithful and loyal to their mates once they have made a commitment.

Friends:

1)      Like most Introverts, ISFJs have a few, close friends. They are extremely loyal to these, and are ready to provide emotional and practical support at a moment's notice.

2)      The older the friendship is, the more an ISFJ will value it.

3) Although the ISFJ is likely to place God and family above their friends in their priorities, they genuinely enjoy spending time with friends and colleagues. In fact, ISFJs usually feel a strong need to talk problems and issues over with people before making decisions on their actions. Some ISFJs like to discuss things over with their friends, rather than their families. 

4) ISFJs enjoy spending time with most other types of people. They love to observe people's reactions and emotions in situations, and so enjoy being around diverse types of people. The ISFJ usually remains reserved around others, and does not open up very much. However, since they have a need to talk things over with others in order to make decisions, they do really need some close confidantes in their life. 

5) Friends of the ISFJ will value them for their warmth, dependability, depth of emotional awareness and understanding.

ISFJ Strengths

---

• Warm, friendly and affirming by nature
• Service-oriented, wanting to please others
• Good listeners
• Will put forth lots of effort to fulfill their duties and obligations
• Excellent organizational capabilities
• Good at taking care of practical matters and daily needs
• Usually good (albeit conservative) at handling money
• Take their commitments seriously, and seek lifelong relationships

---

ISFJ Weaknesses

---

• Don't pay enough attention to their own needs
• May have difficulty branching out into new territory
• Extreme dislike of conflict and criticism
• Unlikely to express their needs, which may cause pent-up frustrations to build inside

On my Way

Life has been pretty great lately. I am only teaching one class right now, so I have lots of time off. I thought that would mean that I would have TONS of things done, however, time really flies! Even if you aren't doing much! I have been busy making appointments with doctors, dentists, etc. since it's been WAY too long since I had any of those checkups. I have also been researching herbs like crazy, because I am starting to get into growing herbs for both culinary and medicinal purposes. It should be fun! I sometimes feel like a hippy though :)

The 30 day Shred exercise program is coming along. We just finished day 10(!). 1/3 of the way done. I still hate it and almost threw up again yesterday. Blegh. I can do it though! Just this stupid 30 day program and then I won't feel guilty about being fit for a whole year. I am not just going to stop trying, but I will only do pleasant things afterwards, like walks and eating healthy, etc.

Since I am having so much fun learning about herbs (I start growing them soon!), I thought I would share info on each herb that I am planning on growing, to spread knowledge of the power of herbs! I shall do one herb at a time:

Feverfew (Tanecetum parthenium)
*Parts used: Leaves and Flowers
*Benefits: helps prevent migraines, helps stop headaches, migraines, stress, etc.
*Harvesting: Harvest the fresh leaves at any time. To prevent migraines, eat one leaf per day. Will see amazing results after 2-3 months. You can also make a Tea for migraines: Pour 1 quart of boiling water over 1 ounce of feverfew leaves/flowers as well as 1 ounce of lavender. Let it steep for 20 minutes covered tightly. Strain and drink 1/4 cup of the tea every 30 minutes until headache is gone.

I am looking forward to growing feverfew, since I am hoping for a healthy remedy against my constant headaches/migraines. I am worried about the bad after-effects of taking so many pills for my headaches. I need stronger and stronger doses all the time. It can't be good for my body. Thus, I started looking for healthy, natural ways to stop my headaches. Many herbalists say that eating just one feverfew leaf a day can actually stop migraines from happening! Science researchers have been becoming more and more interested in the feverfew plant for this very reason. I hope it works! If it doesn't, at least I will have a really pretty plant to look at! :)

Spiritual Ponderings

Today we were supposed to go to our small group meeting. There, we were going to read Colossians 3:18-35, part of which states: "Wives, be subject to your husbands, as is fitting in the Lord. Husbands, love your wives and never treat them harshly..."

I spent a good portion of my day reading the NIV Bible, Greek Bible, internet commentaries, and my wonderful book "Discovering Biblical Equality: Complementary without Hierarchy" by Ronald W. Pierce and Rebecca Merrill Groothuis, to figure out some wise things to say about this notorious Bible verse for our small group meeting.

However, at the last moment, we could not go to our small group. How sad. I actually had ALOT to say about these verses. :)

Anyway, the point of this blog, is that I found something REALLY cool about the Greek words, and if I am not going to blab away about it in small group, I just HAVE to spill out my heart in this blog instead! I am sure that I have said this before, but that "Discovering Biblical Equality" book is AMAZING! It always calms me down after reading certain Biblical verses. :)

Now that I got my promotion of amazing books out of the way, I found out something on my OWN about the verse that blows my mind! The Greek word for 'submit' that is used here is "HYPOTASESTE" (it's hard to write it out in English!). While in its' crude form, it simply means 'submit', the phrasing used in this verse slightly alters this to "submit to one's lot". It is NOT the Greek phrase for "submit to one's superior". This is important. In addition, the Greek word for 'love' is "AGAPE". There are many types of love that are described using different Greek words. For example, "EROS" is passionate/lusty love. "PHILOS" is brotherly love. "AGAPE" is selfless, humble, deep love, like Christ for his people. "AGAPE" love is the most important, serious and beautiful type of love that can be described in Greek.

Some extra background information: It has been said by certain scholars (sorry, another nudge of praise for "Discovering Biblical Equality"!) that Paul's main message in this verse of Colossians and its' almost-twin verse found in Ephesians is that Christians must follow the laws/cultural values of their times AND follow God. (Basically, Paul is trying to make Christianity not look like such a rebellion and more like a welcoming new religion, etc.) Anyway, this makes sense if one looks at the "submit to one's lot" Greek word for wives. It makes this part of the verse mean more "Since it is part of our culture right now, wives, submit to your husbands because that's what you did before being a Christian". THEN you look at the next part of the verse which means "Husbands, AGAPE-love your wives...in other words, love them in the most selfless, submitting, beautiful, humble way..."

So again, the way to actually see this verse is: "Wives, as is culturally fitting at this time, submit to one's lot aka your husbands. Husbands, selflessly and humbly and completely love your wives..."

WOW. I see this verse in two different ways, and both of them take my breath away. The first way I look at this verse: Both Greek words actually mean the same thing. Wives are submitting to their husbands, not as an authority figure but actually because that's the cultural way, and husbands are submitting to their wives by trying to love them in an near-impossible (for humans) way: a selfless, humble, submissive love. The second way I looked at this verse: Men have a more enduring task! Wives only had to be submissive because it was the way of their culture. But the word "AGAPE" does NOT have temporary connotations like "HYPOTASESTE" does. Instead, "AGAPE" is an enduring, eternal love. So husbands, no matter what culture/generation, always must strive to enduringly and selflessly love their wives.

Such a beautiful discovery about this verse. Other people on their own blogs mainly argue that it about how wives must let their husbands be in charge. But I like my version much better. It either means that both wives and husbands both submit to each other OR that husbands have a great responsibility. :) If I had to choose, I like the idea that both submit to each other. In our culture today, it seems like equality and mutual love/respect/submission would produce a happy, healthy marriage.

I love researching things like this and learning from it. What do YOU think of this verse? Do you agree with my findings? Do you have a different opinion on it? I would love to hear in my comment section from anyone who takes time out of their day to read what is on my mind! :)

New Year Thoughts

Christmas Break was lovely. Paul and I spent some time in South Carolina with my parents. Our dream is that someday (probably sooner rather than later) Paul and I will live down there, and we want more than anything to have our families live near us. If my parents move down there, then maybe both of my brothers will move down there, and I can be a more active part of my nephews'/nieces' lives. :) We went hiking, saw waterfalls/lakes/mountains/cousins, etc. We fell in love. We hope to live down there by the year 2012. For now, we continue to fix up the house, pray, and research.

Anyway, I usually do a review of the year thing. This year, I don't feel like looking at the past. I was unhappy at Marquette. I left. I trusted God. I got jobs. Paul and I went fishing alot. Um...that's about it! Instead of going into review of the past year, I eagerly look forward to a future that does not include Milwaukee. I also look eagerly to the future when it comes to good habits and goals.

Thus, in an unusual manner (for me), I have some New Year resolutions. They are mainly simple things that I want to do this year. I am NOT going to obsess over them and force things to happen. But I think I can survive one more year in this terrible, terrible city if I have some fun goals to keep myself occupied:

1. I want to take more pictures this year.

I realized the other day that I have hardly any pictures of my baby/dog Athena! Yet she is an important part of my life! I need to fix this. I also have never taken pictures of the rooms in our house that we have worked so hard on. I want to fix this too. Finally, I am surrounded by a few very cool friends, and I only take pictures with them when on vacations. I love my Paul, but most of our pictures are of us with fish. I love my family, and I want more pictures of them in my house. So I am hoping to take my camera with me to places and to use it.

2. I want to finish my quilt.

I like sewing, but I hate the process of getting the sewing machine out, setting it up, getting the thread ready, etc. I recently put up an old table in our extra room, though, so I will permanently set up my sewing machine. That way, when I have the urge to work on my quilt project, it will be much easier to start.

3. I want to finish my half-knitted afghan.

Years ago, I started this beautiful afghan. Everyone compliments the parts that I have finished. However, it was a pain in the butt. After EVERY row, the yarn gets terribly tangled and I have to spend the next hour untangling it. No exaggeration. I quit my project. However, the half finished parts just keep staring at me. I now want to get it done and out of my closets! I just need to find the guidebook (possibly in our attic space?) and I will finish this and be proud.

4. I am restarting AND finishing the 30-day-shred!

There is this "amazing" exercise program that is supposed to have dramatic results in 30 days. Paul and I started it in the fall, but after two weeks of one of us being sick and then the other, we just stopped trying. We only go through 6 days of the stupid program. I hate exercising. I hate sweating, I hate routines, I hate forcing myself to do stupid exercise movements. I would rather live in South Carolina and go hiking every weekend. However, I live in this Crappy City in the cold and dark (dark at 4:30 every day), there is nothing else to do to get in shape. If you go for walks at night, you WILL get mugged. Thus, I shall do this stupid program and I better get results. Lucky for us, we have a whole bunch of friends doing it too and we are all keeping each other accountable. Blegh. 4 days done, 26 more to go...


I had other resolutions too, but I can't remember them right now. And now dinner is ready. I will write more another day. :)