What is on my heart...

You ever meet someone that is the anti-you? That happened to me recently, and now my heart feels down and I feel very depressed. We were at the same place, and there was no avoiding conversation. Ugh. I can't stop feeling negative things right now like: anger, annoyance, guilt, sadness, shame, depression, grief...

I found some Bible verses that I wish the anti-me would read, but since I don't think that the anti-me knows that he/she has a problem, I will read them and just pray. And hey, while I am at it, I will share them with anyone who reads my journal-type blog:

PSA 34:13 keep your tongue from evil and your lips from speaking lies. 

101:5 Whoever slanders his neighbor in secret, him will I put to silence; whoever has haughty eyes and a proud heart, him will I not endure. 

PRO 11:9 With his mouth the godless destroys his neighbor, but through knowledge the righteous escape. 

13 A gossip betrays a confidence, but a trustworthy man keeps a secret. 

16:28 A perverse man stirs up dissension, and a gossip separates close friends. 

18:8 The words of a gossip are like choice morsels; they go down to a man's inmost parts. 

20:19 A gossip betrays a confidence; so avoid a man who talks too much. 

MAT 12:36 But I tell you that men will have to give account on the day of judgment for every careless word they have spoken. 

EPH 4:29 Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen. 

31 Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice. 

1PE 2:1 Therefore, rid yourselves of all malice and all deceit, hypocrisy, envy, and slander of every kind. 

3:10 For, "Whoever would love life and see good days must keep his tongue from evil and his lips from deceitful speech.

I love going Home to Michigan!

A week ago, I had to opportunity to go Home again. There was a historical medieval conference in Kalamazoo, Michigan and I was done teaching for the semester. I went to the conference last year, and I had a blast. It is so great to learn more about medieval things AND know that I am not the only medieval nerd in the world! It is an international meeting, so there is an opportunity to hear plenty of languages and learn about different cultures and different ways to approach medieval research. Paul gave me permission to spend money on the conference and I came over on the train b/c I will never try to drive through Evil Chicago. There WAS a catch, however: Paul had to stay back in Milwaukee to work AND I was missing our five-year wedding anniversary.

This was the first time we were separated for more than one night since I left for Greece for a month in 2006 (before we were married). I was gone for five nights. Thus, it was wonderful going back to Michigan but it wasn't the same as normal because I was missing my other half...

Anyway, here was my week:
*Tuesday: Spent the whole day on a train. There was a terrible delay in Chicago, resulting in an hour delay where we all stood up for the whole time in a crowded line. Then, two more groups using the same platform had to squeeze in the same small room as us, so it was chaotic and claustrophobic. Ugh. I hate Chicago and I hate trains.
*Wednesday: I spent the ENTIRE day with my family. :) It was wonderful. My mom, Jim, Becky, and I watched my darling nephew Q-bear and niece Izzy for the whole day, and then Jon, Amanda, (and dad, of course) were there for dinner. It was such a lovely day...the only one missing was my Paul.
*Thursday: Various conference lectures from 10-5pm, followed by dinner with my mother-in-law, and sisters-in-laws Christy and Katie.
*Friday: Various conference lectures from 10-5pm, followed by dinner and constant talking with my best friend Julie. (from 6-10pm, we never stopped talking!) This was followed by a phone call to Paul because it was our anniversary.
*Saturday: Various conference lectures from 10-5pm, followed by dinner with the in-laws and a lame 80s movie. :)
*Sunday: Spent the whole day on a train. There was, fortunately, only a small delay, not as long as the first trip.

Overall, it was a great blend of scholarly learning and family time. It would have been perfect if Paul was with me. I don't think I can stay away from Paul for five nights again. After two nights, I started talking to myself. After three nights, I started randomly crying for no reason. That was weird. We shall see if I go next year. Like I said, I don't think that I can be apart from Paul for that long.

For now, I am doing household chores and applying to jobs both here and in South Carolina. Paul is finishing up his school year (he is done on June 15). Then, we go off to Michigan TOGETHER for a few days and then off on a fun fishing trip in South Carolina for a few weeks, and I am sure that I will have fun adventure stories to tell at that time. :)

Here are a few of my favorite pictures from my time at Home:

This picture shows my mom's adoration for her grandchildren as well as how my Q-bear can be quite the ham. Notice the "hat" that he gave his sister? Incredibly adorable.

 Now it's MY turn to get a picture taken with my nephew and niece. I love them so much. :)





 My darling niece Izzy is only three-ish months old, but she is so attentive and smart! Of course, she is also beautiful. :) Izzy loves trying to crawl (which she is WAY too young to be attempting), loves looking at her mobile on top of her swing, loves snuggling, loves trying to talk to you, and is overall a wonderful little baby. My mom had a lot of fun trying different outfits out on Izzy, which makes me curious to how this will turn out in the future. My mom never had the opportunity to dress me up, since I decided to be an independent spit-fire tomboy from a very early age. :)

My sweet nephew Q-bear, or, possibly with a new nickname of Curly-Q, due to his adorable mop of curls, is two and a half years old and is WAY too smart! He calmly gave directions to my mom on the drive to her house, and knows his left from his right. He enjoys trying (a bit unsuccessfully) to tell jokes as well as learning about things. "What's that, Aunt Cris" "Why is that brown, Aunt Cris" And many more questions about everything. He noticed that Uncle Paul was missing and asked if we could wait until he arrived before eating dinner. This picture is of Q-bear putting my glasses on and posing for the camera. What fun! We are hoping to take him fishing this summer.

After dinner, my dad had loads of fun with Quentin by chasing him around the yard with Q-bear's lawnmower toy. Quentin's giggles and screams of delight could be heard, I am sure, by the entire neighborhood. I sat on the porch with my mom and just watched and smiled. :)

My brother Jim has a fantastic fiance'. I approve. :)  They are leaving for Africa soon, so I won't see them this summer. :( But I wish them well, as they visit Becky's parents in Africa, work for her parents, and also have plenty of adventures such as safari-type trips. I can't believe my baby brother is so grown-up! And aren't they just adorable?!? :)

Easter Vacation

For the first time since we were both in our undergraduate days at GVSU, my husband and I shared some spring break vacation time! This doesn't usually happen because I teach college and he teaches high school. However, this year, I am teaching at a semi-religious college (it gets funding from Lutheran regional churches), so in addition to my spring break, I got an Easter Break. :) For Easter, I got Thursday and Friday off, and since I don't work Wednesdays as well, that meant that Paul only had TWO days to himself for vacation instead of the entire week. We decided that since this rarity might not occur again for a long time, we were going to make the best of it. Immediately, we thought about going Home to Michigan for our entire time. Then we started thinking about how hectic that always is and how we would not be very relaxed. Then we thought about going to the Wisconsin Dells or something special for some of that time. However, then we had to think of someone to watch our dog, and Rick was leaving for Michigan.

Eventually, we came up with a great compromise and genius plan: We spent some romantic and relaxing time from Tuesday night to Thursday evening in southern Michigan, and then ended our Easter break with time with family and friends. We found the perfect place to stay for our adventure: a cozy cabin in Niles, Michigan. Dogs were allowed and it had a lot of acres of woods, AND it was close to a whole bunch of wineries. It was the most amazing mini-vacation with my husband EVER! The cabin is a perfect balance of "roughing it" and "comfort". We loved how the only way to heat the cabin was with a wood stove. I love the smell of wood stoves, and combine that with: snuggling on a couch, in front of the stove, with our dog at our feet and a glass of wine in our hands after going for a long walk in the woods...sigh...I want to go back. I could live like that and be happy forever. We went to plenty of wineries and learned a lot about what types of wines we prefer, which is really helpful.

We made it up to Paul's parents' home in time for dinner on Thursday. We then soaked in their hot tub and just relaxed some more. Friday was a bit more hectic: Paul went fishing in the morning with his buddy Greg, we hung out with Julie during the day, and then visited our friends Rusty and Staci and their two kids at night. There was a storm at night, so we spent some time watching a movie with his parents and watching our dog (who is afraid of storms) go crazy.  On Saturday, we had Easter family time with Paul's family. We went as a family to the butterfly exhibit at Frederick Meijer Gardens and then had kabobs for dinner. After his siblings left, we followed that up with some more hot tub relaxing. :)  On Sunday, Paul and I went to Friendship CRC like we used to, and it was so great enjoying a church service again (something that doesn't happen here in Milwaukee). Then we headed on to see my family....LOTS of my family. :)  It was wonderful seeing my cousins and parents and siblings and EVERYONE again! I didn't want to leave. We ate good food and played fun games and just caught up on lost time. Unfortunately, we still had to leave for Milwaukee and so we headed off for the long and annoying journey back to our Milwaukee house. 

This was one of the best Easters that I can remember. I love that we got to relax and have some time to ourselves as well as see family and friends. It was such a great balance. Also, by staying in Niles, Michigan for a few nights, it made the journey Home way shorter. It took only 3 hours to get there from Milwaukee, and then only 1.5 hours to get from Niles to Byron Center. In the future, I hope we have similar vacation times and that we can do that again. I hope everyone else had great Easter breaks! :)

So good to go Home!

This past weekend, Paul and I went home to see family. My brother Jon and his lovely wife Amanda had just introduced their new daughter Isabella Mae to their family, and I was eager to meet my first niece. It was so wonderful to see family and (a few) friends in wonderful Michigan! I wish I lived closer to my loved ones, but that will never happen if my loved ones can't be persuaded to move to South Carolina with us in a few years! Michigan has no teaching jobs so we will never be able to live there again. So I shall just have to hope and pray that my loved ones are eager for a South Carolina adventure like we are! :)

While in town, we were quite busy, as always:

On Friday, we saw Julie for lunch, Jon/Amanda/Isabella in the afternoon, and Paul's parents for dinner/evening.

On Saturday, we saw my parents in the morning, went to our nephew Wes' birthday party in the afternoon, and saw Rick, Kevin, and Kyle for dinner/evening fun.

On Sunday, we left right after lunch.

Even though time went quick, we didn't see everyone we wanted (like our nephew Quentin, who was napping during our entire visit to his sister Isabella! Boo!), and we came home tired and already homesick for Michigan, it was still good to come Home. Here is a picture of me and my new niece. Once upon a time, I was not fond of the idea of having a niece, since I don't understand females very well. However, I fell in love with Isabella at first sight! I hope we get along as she gets older! :)
Here is another picture of me, Paul, and Isabella. Jon said while taking the picture: 'Wow, Paul is actually smiling for the camera!' And it's true! I think that means that Paul was as proud and happy of the newest addition to our family as I was. :)

In other news, I have been working hard on my new year's goals: I have been working on my afghan, my quilt, and we finished the 30 day shred! woo hoo! Now we are starting a new exercise routine with our friends. We made an online calendar so that we can all see the exercises no matter where we live. When we do the exercise for the day, we put our names on that day of the online calendar. That way, it makes it both an accountability thing and a competition between friends to help us all push at working out diligently. We shall see how that works out!

Personality Test

I love taking personality tests. Every time I take them, I get the same answer. I always agree with the answer too. But I love to take these tests every once in a while anyway. Why? Well, just by reading about my personality, it is clear why: I like to observe myself (instead of always observing others) occasionally! :) Here is the concluding data about my type of personality. What type are YOU? I would love to know the answer, because I love to know about my friends and family. :) My apologies if you don't find this information as fascinating as I do. There is a chance that people reading this information about me will now understand me a little bit better:

Introverted Sensing Feeling Judging

(ISFJ)

General Info:

1)      ISFJs are characterized above all by their desire to serve others, their "need to be needed."

2)      ISFJs are often unappreciated, at work, home, and play. Ironically, because they prove over and over that they can be relied on for their loyalty and unstinting, high-quality work, those around them often take them for granted--even take advantage of them. Admittedly, the problem is sometimes aggravated by the ISFJs themselves; for instance, they are notoriously bad at delegating ("If you want it done right, do it yourself"). And although they're hurt by being treated like doormats, they are often unwilling to toot their own horns about their accomplishments because they feel that although they deserve more credit than they're getting, it's somehow wrong to want any sort of reward for doing work (which is supposed to be a virtue in itself).

3)      ISFJs place a great deal of importance on their personal relationships. They're generally very giving and loving people, who place the needs of others above their own. They sometimes have a problem with becoming overly emotionally needy, and with keeping their true feelings hidden from others. They take their commitments very seriously, and seek lifelong relationships. ISFJs are extremely dependable, and put forth a lot of energy into keeping things running smoothly.

4) The ISFJ is very warm and selfless. They'll put forth tremendous amounts of energy and time into doing what they feel is their duty. What makes them feel best about themselves is when others show them their appreciation of the ISFJ. Consequently, the best gift that the partner of an ISFJ can give them is the expression of their love and appreciation. 

5) ISFJs have difficulty with conflict situations, and would much prefer to just sweep things under the rug. Sometimes facing a conflict situation helps to resolve it, and the ISFJ should realize that the world will not end if they face the conflict, and express how they feel about it. It's a common problem for ISFJ's to not express their feelings until pushed to some limit, after which they explode in anger and say things which they later feel they shouldn't have said. These kinds of outbursts can be reduced by expressing their feelings on a more regular basis, rather than keeping them pent up inside. 

6) In general, the ISFJ is usually a traditional, family-minded individual who places the comfort of their mates and families as their first priority in life. They're great for providing for everyday basic needs, and have a depth of caring which is very unusual, and not found in most types. They highly invested in the health of their relationships, and will work very hard to make things run smoothly.

ISFJs generally have the following traits:

• Large, rich inner store of information which they gather about people
• Highly observant and aware of people's feelings and reactions
• Excellent memory for details which are important to them
• Very in-tune with their surroundings - excellent sense of space and function
• Can be depended on to follow things through to completion
• Will work long and hard to see that jobs get done
• Stable, practical, down-to-earth - they dislike working with theory and abstract thought
• Dislike doing things which don't make sense to them
• Value security, tradition, and peaceful living
• Service-oriented: focused on what people need and want
• Kind and considerate
• Likely to put others' needs above their own
• Learn best with hands-on training
• Enjoy creating structure and order
• Take their responsibilities seriously
• Extremely uncomfortable with conflict and confrontation

Family:

1)      While their work ethic is high on the ISFJ priority list, their families are the centers of their lives.

2)      ISFJs are extremely warm and demonstrative within the family circle--and often possessive of their loved ones, as well.

3)      They place a strong emphasis on conventional behavior, and if any of their nearest and dearest depart from the straight-and-narrow, it causes the ISFJ major embarrassment: the closer the relationship and the more public the act, the more intense the embarrassment. Over time, however, ISFJs usually mellow, and learn to regard the culprits as harmless eccentrics :-).

4)      ISFJs take infinite trouble over meals, gifts, celebrations, etc., for their loved ones.

5)      ISFJs are committed to their marriage partners. They have very intense feelings, which is not immediately apparent to others because they tend to hold things inside themselves without expressing them, unless they have a strong reason to do so. Their intensity of feeling makes their intimate relationship their first priority in life, with the possible exception of God. They seek monogamous, lifelong commitments, and can be depended upon to be faithful and loyal to their mates once they have made a commitment.

Friends:

1)      Like most Introverts, ISFJs have a few, close friends. They are extremely loyal to these, and are ready to provide emotional and practical support at a moment's notice.

2)      The older the friendship is, the more an ISFJ will value it.

3) Although the ISFJ is likely to place God and family above their friends in their priorities, they genuinely enjoy spending time with friends and colleagues. In fact, ISFJs usually feel a strong need to talk problems and issues over with people before making decisions on their actions. Some ISFJs like to discuss things over with their friends, rather than their families. 

4) ISFJs enjoy spending time with most other types of people. They love to observe people's reactions and emotions in situations, and so enjoy being around diverse types of people. The ISFJ usually remains reserved around others, and does not open up very much. However, since they have a need to talk things over with others in order to make decisions, they do really need some close confidantes in their life. 

5) Friends of the ISFJ will value them for their warmth, dependability, depth of emotional awareness and understanding.

ISFJ Strengths

---

• Warm, friendly and affirming by nature
• Service-oriented, wanting to please others
• Good listeners
• Will put forth lots of effort to fulfill their duties and obligations
• Excellent organizational capabilities
• Good at taking care of practical matters and daily needs
• Usually good (albeit conservative) at handling money
• Take their commitments seriously, and seek lifelong relationships

---

ISFJ Weaknesses

---

• Don't pay enough attention to their own needs
• May have difficulty branching out into new territory
• Extreme dislike of conflict and criticism
• Unlikely to express their needs, which may cause pent-up frustrations to build inside

On my Way

Life has been pretty great lately. I am only teaching one class right now, so I have lots of time off. I thought that would mean that I would have TONS of things done, however, time really flies! Even if you aren't doing much! I have been busy making appointments with doctors, dentists, etc. since it's been WAY too long since I had any of those checkups. I have also been researching herbs like crazy, because I am starting to get into growing herbs for both culinary and medicinal purposes. It should be fun! I sometimes feel like a hippy though :)

The 30 day Shred exercise program is coming along. We just finished day 10(!). 1/3 of the way done. I still hate it and almost threw up again yesterday. Blegh. I can do it though! Just this stupid 30 day program and then I won't feel guilty about being fit for a whole year. I am not just going to stop trying, but I will only do pleasant things afterwards, like walks and eating healthy, etc.

Since I am having so much fun learning about herbs (I start growing them soon!), I thought I would share info on each herb that I am planning on growing, to spread knowledge of the power of herbs! I shall do one herb at a time:

Feverfew (Tanecetum parthenium)
*Parts used: Leaves and Flowers
*Benefits: helps prevent migraines, helps stop headaches, migraines, stress, etc.
*Harvesting: Harvest the fresh leaves at any time. To prevent migraines, eat one leaf per day. Will see amazing results after 2-3 months. You can also make a Tea for migraines: Pour 1 quart of boiling water over 1 ounce of feverfew leaves/flowers as well as 1 ounce of lavender. Let it steep for 20 minutes covered tightly. Strain and drink 1/4 cup of the tea every 30 minutes until headache is gone.

I am looking forward to growing feverfew, since I am hoping for a healthy remedy against my constant headaches/migraines. I am worried about the bad after-effects of taking so many pills for my headaches. I need stronger and stronger doses all the time. It can't be good for my body. Thus, I started looking for healthy, natural ways to stop my headaches. Many herbalists say that eating just one feverfew leaf a day can actually stop migraines from happening! Science researchers have been becoming more and more interested in the feverfew plant for this very reason. I hope it works! If it doesn't, at least I will have a really pretty plant to look at! :)

Spiritual Ponderings

Today we were supposed to go to our small group meeting. There, we were going to read Colossians 3:18-35, part of which states: "Wives, be subject to your husbands, as is fitting in the Lord. Husbands, love your wives and never treat them harshly..."

I spent a good portion of my day reading the NIV Bible, Greek Bible, internet commentaries, and my wonderful book "Discovering Biblical Equality: Complementary without Hierarchy" by Ronald W. Pierce and Rebecca Merrill Groothuis, to figure out some wise things to say about this notorious Bible verse for our small group meeting.

However, at the last moment, we could not go to our small group. How sad. I actually had ALOT to say about these verses. :)

Anyway, the point of this blog, is that I found something REALLY cool about the Greek words, and if I am not going to blab away about it in small group, I just HAVE to spill out my heart in this blog instead! I am sure that I have said this before, but that "Discovering Biblical Equality" book is AMAZING! It always calms me down after reading certain Biblical verses. :)

Now that I got my promotion of amazing books out of the way, I found out something on my OWN about the verse that blows my mind! The Greek word for 'submit' that is used here is "HYPOTASESTE" (it's hard to write it out in English!). While in its' crude form, it simply means 'submit', the phrasing used in this verse slightly alters this to "submit to one's lot". It is NOT the Greek phrase for "submit to one's superior". This is important. In addition, the Greek word for 'love' is "AGAPE". There are many types of love that are described using different Greek words. For example, "EROS" is passionate/lusty love. "PHILOS" is brotherly love. "AGAPE" is selfless, humble, deep love, like Christ for his people. "AGAPE" love is the most important, serious and beautiful type of love that can be described in Greek.

Some extra background information: It has been said by certain scholars (sorry, another nudge of praise for "Discovering Biblical Equality"!) that Paul's main message in this verse of Colossians and its' almost-twin verse found in Ephesians is that Christians must follow the laws/cultural values of their times AND follow God. (Basically, Paul is trying to make Christianity not look like such a rebellion and more like a welcoming new religion, etc.) Anyway, this makes sense if one looks at the "submit to one's lot" Greek word for wives. It makes this part of the verse mean more "Since it is part of our culture right now, wives, submit to your husbands because that's what you did before being a Christian". THEN you look at the next part of the verse which means "Husbands, AGAPE-love your wives...in other words, love them in the most selfless, submitting, beautiful, humble way..."

So again, the way to actually see this verse is: "Wives, as is culturally fitting at this time, submit to one's lot aka your husbands. Husbands, selflessly and humbly and completely love your wives..."

WOW. I see this verse in two different ways, and both of them take my breath away. The first way I look at this verse: Both Greek words actually mean the same thing. Wives are submitting to their husbands, not as an authority figure but actually because that's the cultural way, and husbands are submitting to their wives by trying to love them in an near-impossible (for humans) way: a selfless, humble, submissive love. The second way I looked at this verse: Men have a more enduring task! Wives only had to be submissive because it was the way of their culture. But the word "AGAPE" does NOT have temporary connotations like "HYPOTASESTE" does. Instead, "AGAPE" is an enduring, eternal love. So husbands, no matter what culture/generation, always must strive to enduringly and selflessly love their wives.

Such a beautiful discovery about this verse. Other people on their own blogs mainly argue that it about how wives must let their husbands be in charge. But I like my version much better. It either means that both wives and husbands both submit to each other OR that husbands have a great responsibility. :) If I had to choose, I like the idea that both submit to each other. In our culture today, it seems like equality and mutual love/respect/submission would produce a happy, healthy marriage.

I love researching things like this and learning from it. What do YOU think of this verse? Do you agree with my findings? Do you have a different opinion on it? I would love to hear in my comment section from anyone who takes time out of their day to read what is on my mind! :)