My Surprise Weekend

A few weeks ago, Paul asked me if I had plans on the weekend of October 21-23. I immediately got curious and asked him why. He got all mischievous and said it was a surprise. So I kept my weekend free. Paul also made me promise not to "cheat" and look up things on the internet in order to figure out what he was planning. He said "I will know if you cheat" and I believed him, because he is a genius with computers and could probably tell what I was searching for on them, and also, Paul could probably know just by looking at me if I cheated. It drove me crazy though! I was SO tempted to try to figure out what was going on because I am not really keen on surprises. However, Paul LOVES to surprise me and he is always good at it. He did not fail this time either.

The first thing we did early in the afternoon on friday was drive to Madison. Even though I have lived in Milwaukee (only 1.5 hours away from Madison) for a few years now, we have never been to Madison. How Crazy. It turns out that that city is WAY cooler than Milwaukee and I was envious that we couldn't have lived there instead for the last 4-ish years. Anyway, we went to our hotel and unpacked. We turned on the TV in our room and it just so happened that a commercial came on almost right away about an "Electronic Liquidation Sale" at the Madison Aliant Energy Center. I turned to Paul and asked jokingly: "Is this what we are doing this weekend?!" Paul laughed and said: "Oh yeah, you figured it out! Bummer." I assumed he was joking (or rather hoped) and then we got ready to leave. I was going crazy trying to figure out the surprise. I also had no idea what to wear for such a surprise occasion, so Paul caved and told me to wear "nice clothes but jeans are okay" and that it was indoors. So off we went to our mystery place.

Paul gave me the GPS and I navigated. Soon, the GPS told us that our destination was on our right, and guess what it was? That's right, the Madison Aliant Energy Center! I freaked out. "Paul," I said as calmly as I could, "are we REALLY here for the liquidation sale??!" I was trying not to sound disappointed, but really, if that was the surprise, I was pretty bummed. Paul just chuckled. The sign at the front of the building flashed different events going on in the same building, so I started reading closely as we waited in a long line of cars to enter the parking lot. The first sign was about the liquidation sale. The second sign flashed about a Clydesdale Horse show. I looked up at Paul and again asked as nicely as I could if this was the surprise. Again, I was trying not to sound disappointed because really, Paul should know by now that I don't really care about horses. Paul just chuckled again. I was really starting to go crazy. Then the next, blessed sign came up: "Food and Wine show" and I shrieked in delight. I KNEW that it was the surprise. Paul knows how much I love food and wine. :) Paul grinned then and I was actually wonderfully surprised and excited.

On Friday night and Saturday and Sunday afternoon, we spent all of our time in this gigantic room tasting tons of different wines and spirits as well as lots and lots and lots of cheese, sausage, crackers, pastas, etc. It was mainly cheese, though. It's crazy, I always told Paul that my version of heaven was one where I could drink all the wine I wanted and eat cheese nonstop. This was heaven on earth! Except it will be better in heaven: I am lactose intolerant and since Paul didn't warn me, I did not have my pills along. Every night was a bit of agony on my stomach, but it was still worth it. There was this cool demonstration kitchen where chefs showed us how to make fancy meals and then let us sample them. We got to try a cool bruschetta with figs on it (weird combo but tasted great!), some fancy chicken dish whose name I have already forgotten, some fancy meatballs with fennel sauce, some delicious Pakistani food, and some shrimp and pork dumplings. Yum! We also watched a bit of "dueling chefs" which was a competition. It was fun to watch but it kept making us hungry and we weren't allowed to sample the foods they made, which was a bummer. 

All in all, the weekend went by way too quickly, and we ate WAY too much food. It was the best romantic surprise weekend ever! I am so happy that Paul decided to plan this for us to do. We bought a few things but for the most part, we ate so much of the foods at the 3 day food show that we did not see the need to buy more, even though it was all so delicious. Like I said earlier: It was heaven on earth...I just could have done with the lactose intolerance problem! :)

Seasonal Fall Fun

We have been having such amazing golden fall weather, so Paul and I have made sure to take full advantage of such a rare event. Normally, fall seasons seem to be only 1 week of prettiness followed by weeks and weeks of rain and frost. This year, we have had about 3 whole weeks of pretty weather! I finally got to see nature full of perfect fall-colored leaves. Ah, God's beauty is so amazing. :) Anyway, here are a few things we have done so far this fall season:

1) Me, Paul, and Rick went to an apple orchard.

*First thing we did was go in the corn maze. Before stepping inside the maze, we noticed that the entry and the exit were about 5 feet apart. We immediately assumed that this corn maze would be as easy as others we have done in the past. And sure enough, the "true path" was wide while the fake paths were unkept and tiny. We started joking about the "difficulty" of the maze, when suddenly, we realized that we had been walking the maze for a long time. The corn was so high that we could not tell directions, which is odd for me since I have a compass in my head. I hesitantly told the guys that I was pretty sure we were heading in the wrong direction of the exit. But we kept on trudging. A long while later, we found an alternate exit which was on the opposite side of the apple orchard. Our cart for the apples was by the entrance, so we had to walk all the way through the apple orchard to get our cart and then turn around and go through the orchard again. I still don't know how we were supposed to get out that shorter-distance exit...

*Anyway, we got plenty of apples. However, I was disappointed that the orchard did not have my new favorite apple, the honeycrisp apple. But they did have my second favorite, the Empire apple. So I made do with empires. I went home and made apple crisp, which was fantastic. Then, a few days later, I made apple cheesecake, and it was so, so good. We still have another large bag of apples and I can't decide whether to make apple crisp again or the cheesecake. Decisions, decisions...

2) My parents came for a visit and we went for a long hike in the kettle moraine forest.

*This pretty forest is located on the hilly indents left over from the glaciers of past times. I don't know how it all works, but I DO know that the forests are really pretty. You can climb towers located throughout the park to see far, far off into the distance. It was so pretty. The sun was shining and you could see different colored trees everywhere! It was a lot of hard work on my poor knees to go up and down such steep hills, but it was still my favorite way to do exercise. I could walk in the woods every day for the rest of my life and be incredibly happy. :)

3) We also went canoeing while my parents were in town.

*It was a bit disappointing because we WANTED to go upriver to the pretty nature areas. However, we couldn't fit the kayak (for my parents) and the canoe (for us) on the top of our vehicle. So we had to stick in Milwaukee. That was kind of a bummer because the part of the river we were on was sandwiched between two rapids that we couldn't navigate around. So we went upriver, turned around, went down river, turned around, went back up river, etc. Oh well, at least we were spending time outdoors in the golden sunshine! It was fun to see the salmon running as well.

4) Paul and I found a paved path through nature somewhat near our house!

*We have always been frustrated in the past because I want to go on plenty of walks, but if we want to walk somewhere pretty, we need to drive at least 30 minutes to get to pretty areas. UGH. But I accidentally found a new path closer to our house and now we go on walks on the path at least 2 times a week. I wish people told you about those kind of things. But as far as I can tell, there is no way to know about this particular path unless you get curious about it, look it up on the google satellite map, and then decide to risk it and just go. How lame. But anyway, it's nice enough. It has woods all around it, so I get to enjoy some nature and feel safe while walking with my dog and my hubby. We have spent way more time outdoors this fall than in the past!

I hope the good weather continues to last. If it does, perhaps I can write another post on the awesomeness of fall... :)

~Raven

Different Expressions of Faith

While procrastinating from my chores, I ended up somehow or another reading an article from Focus on the Family's website. Here: When Your Faith Expression Differs From Your Spouse  I found this article fascinating. I suppose, in one way, it's just common sense to say that everyone worships God differently. However, at the same time, it made me realize that Paul and I are probably different when it comes to worshiping God. Not only that, but other people in general worship God differently from me. I need to be okay with that. As Paul and I struggle trying to find a church that "fits" for us, I need to remember that even if a certain church does not "fit" for us, it might "fit" for plenty of others. I should try not to criticize them as much...not an easy thing to do for someone as opinionated as me. :)

Anyway, I am eager to bring up this question to my beloved hubby tonight: "How do you express your faith?" It's odd, I mean, I have some ideas of how he worships God, but I am still curious to how he will answer. For me, it's easy. I worship God through song and nature. I sing all the time. Random, odd things that I make up on the spot, but singing nonetheless. Singing is how I express my emotions. I have always felt closer to God if I am singing or listening to a majestically beautiful song. Granted, I am picky about my songs. Perhaps that is because that is how I express my adoration for God. If we sing a song in church, it has to be perfect, and sadly, I don't find modern Christian songs to be perfect enough. So my way of praising and worshiping God has dwindled lately. I told Paul once that I feel like my soul is like a gas tank. When I hear and sing even one beautiful song in church, my "gas tank soul" goes from empty to overflowing. I often cry while singing in church. I get tingles. It is beautiful. However, when I go through service after service with weak-lyric modern songs, I feel like my "gas tank soul" is on empty. I feel as distant as can be from God. It's a struggle for me, but now that I have a piano and old hymnals in my house, I can make up for it at least a little.

I also worship God through nature. When Paul and I go on nature hikes or go fishing, I feel close to God. We just went on a walk the other day. It was on a trail in Milwaukee, but with trees surrounding us, I could at least pretend that we were far from the city. There was a tree along the path that was full of golden leaves and the sun was hitting it just right so it shined and shimmered like golden beauty at its' best. I couldn't stop telling Paul how wonderful God is and how amazing He was because he made such a gloriously golden tree. Paul humored me and listened, but this simple natural site was clearly helping me worship God more than Paul. And that's okay. Just because I cannot help but marvel at God whenever I see anything amazing in nature does not mean that Paul has to be the same way. And like the article mentioned above says, having different ways of worshiping God is a good thing. How cool is that?

At the end of the article was this: Spiritual Temperament Quiz. I took that as well. In a nutshell, it seems that my spiritual temperament is: naturalist, enthusiast, and contemplative. What about you? What is your spiritual temperament? How do you express your faith? I am deeply curious about this. So please, if you feel comfortable, comment below and let me know!

The disappointing weekend

Well, I tried. This past week, after much thinking, I decided it was time to try even harder at making friends in Milwaukee. Part of me doesn't see why I should bother, since I am getting out of here as fast as possible next spring/summer. In the meantime, however, it's just me, Paul, and Rick. Just like the last 3 years. Yay. It gets really lonely thinking that I only have 2 friends in Milwaukee, and they both moved here from Michigan with me. I especially want a female friend. I find myself telling Paul about fashion stuff or craft things, and I know he doesn't care. He tries, but sometimes it would really be nice to go shopping at Joann's fabric store with a female instead of having Paul wait in the car or stand next to me in the store awkwardly. It's impossible to meet anyone at work. I am an adjunct professor: I go in, teach in a random classroom, and go home. I don't have an office. I don't even know where the history department is. I don't know what other teachers look like. I only know my boss, and that doesn't count.

Anyway, this week I tried to think of some places where I could meet some new friends. I thought about what I liked, and came up with gardening. However, apparently Milwaukee isn't as passionate about gardening and herbs as me. (Another reason I cannot WAIT til we move to South Carolina: they LOVE herbs down there). I tried finding groups to join in the Milwaukee area that center on gardening somehow. Maybe I'm not good with google, but all I found was one older ladies' gardening group that meets in Whitefish Bay. According to their website, they are most likely rich ladies that stay at home in their pretty mansions and have a rather exclusive gardening club to deal with after their charity meetings. Or whatever it is rich ladies do. Anyway, it was clear from their website that you can't just come to a meeting. You need to be invited. So scratch out that idea. Then, I found a place called Sweet Water Organics. It is an aquaponics urban farm and they needed volunteers. So I decided that on Friday, I would go to their meeting and volunteer and meet like-minded gardeners. Yay! Then, Paul found an ad on Craigslist about a free Gardening Seed Exchange thing on Saturday. According to the ad, everyone with extra seeds or bulbs or divided plants can come to this exchange and trade seeds/etc. with each other. The only rule was that all trading had to be free. I was super excited. I was determined to use this opportunity to meet fellow-gardeners and maybe give blog information out to them or something (I have a gardening blog). In addition, Paul and I decided to just go to this particular church (that has a terrible website) and hope that there would be a young adults/couples sunday-school type thing. So there it was. THREE days to try to meet new people. How could anything go wrong?

Well, actually, it all went wrong:

Friday:
*I went to the orientation. I went inside the building's store, expecting to find fresh produce that would make me smile. I even brought a grocery list so that I could support them and get fresh veggies. Imagine my disappointment when I walked into an empty-ish room with a bunch of t-shirts and 1 grocery bag full of tomatoes and 1 plastic container of sprouts. How could this be a store for a farm? Where were the products? During the orientation, it became clear that they only really grow lettuce and sprouts, which they mainly sell to local restaurants. They needed volunteers to come in and cut lettuce and clean it and put it in packages or they needed carpenters to make more aquaponic frames. That was it. I did not feel passionate about being a lettuce factory worker. I wanted to join a group of people passionate about farming, NOT factory type work to make a profit! Blegh. So I left feeling rather sad. There weren't even many people in that building to try to make friends with! I counted three workers. All guys. So that attempt was a FAIL.

Saturday:
*I convinced Paul to take me to the Seed Exchange because it was in a part of town that makes me nervous. On the drive there, it started raining pretty hard. I didn't think anything of it, but when we got to the location, there was nothing there. A few abandoned stands. So apparently it was cancelled due to rain. How tragic. This one is probably not Milwaukee's fault but rather Mother Natures... So that attempt was a FAIL.

Sunday:
*We forced our shy-selves to go to the church. We got there a bit early, always great for the awkwardly shy couple. Right. We shyly walked up to the welcome desk where we were not talked to by anyone. We found the room number for a young adult/couples group. We shyly walked into the room. There was one lady in there. We awkwardly talked to the one lady for a few minutes and she suggested we sit at one of the tables. There were three tables. We decided rather boldly to sit at the same table as this lady. Others walked in the room and sat at the other tables. At the last minute, a visiting missionary couple sat next to us. So it was the lady, us, and two visiting people at our table. That was all. We never talked to the other table full of people who clearly knew each other. We did the lesson. We awkwardly got up and left. Blegh. So I can pretty much consider that attempt a FAIL as well. We decided we should try (desperately) to be optimistic and we are going to try that church group again next week. But we will arrive JUST in time or even a little late so it's not so bad (hopefully).

So, I tried to meet people all weekend long and nothing worked. It's really hard to keep trying when things like that happen. I think I will clear away the disappointment from this weekend now by watching football all day long with Paul and Rick. Just like old times. Yay.

Whew...what a summer!

It's been forever since I last posted anything. That's what happens when summer is busy and fun! :) Also, I've been spending a lot of my time working on a new blog all about herbs and gardening, so that took up a lot of my 'computer time' for the day.

Hmm...where to start? Here's a basic summary of my whole summer:
June:
*left for Michigan the day after Paul was done teaching. Stayed in Michigan for a whole week and saw all of our family members and plenty of friends. If I remember correctly, this was when Paul's sister was in a sidewalk chalk competition in Byron Center, so we walked through their adorable little town to see all the cool art. I love how tiny Byron Center is! I hope our future home is in a small town or in the country...
*Then we left for South Carolina with our friends Rick and Kyle. Our boat trailer broke in Kentucky at around 5am, which was quite an annoying adventure. :) In South Carolina, we visited Beaufort, Hilton Head, and Savannah for two weeks. We went fishing for red fish and shark. It was a pretty good time.

July:
*We went back to Milwaukee for two weeks. While there, Paul painted most of the outside of our house (just a little bit more to do!), I worked on gardening, and we did other fixing up jobs around the house to get it ready to put up for sale.
*We then left for Michigan again. We spent THREE weeks in a row in Michigan at this time: 1st week: we spent some nights out at Gun Lake to see camping friends and family, and we saw other family members and friends, and Paul painted his parents' house for some nice cash. 2nd week: We went on our traditional trip to Young State Park on Lake Charlevoix. It was okay, not as good as past years, but always fun! We played lots of volleyball, went fishing, and played some board games. 3rd week: We saw more family and friends, including Cindy and Joe, who are moving Far Away, and we went to Fenn Valley Vineyards Winery (my favorite wine!), and went to a wedding.

August:
*By the second week of August, we were back in Milwaukee. We continued to work on the house, including spray painting the fridge in our kitchen white so that it wasn't so yellow/70s looking, and working on sanding the basement steps and staining them (WAY harder than we thought because the steps had some nasty glue on them that was difficult to get out). I bought and planted more herbs and I did more research on herbs.
*My little brother Jim and his fiance' Becky came to Milwaukee to see us and her brother, who lives in the area as well. It was great having them around for a week! We played plenty of games and ate good food.


Now, I am in the process of drying herbs for the winter. This is harder than I thought. The problem is, the plants are all beautiful and healthy right now, but if I don't dry them now, their taste/medicinal value will decline. So I have to go through the pain of cutting down healthy plants over and over again. It's very difficult. I can only do a few per day before I get too depressed.

I am also working on my quilt, and I am getting closer: only 30 more squares to go! Blegh. Once the squares are done, I am sure my passion for sewing the quilt will come back too...I hope so at least. The two problems that I came across with my new quilting hobby: (1) I HATE changing the spools and bobbins of thread. I don't know if it's my sewing machine or because I have problems with technology, but it always takes me at least 1 hour to finally have the new thread ready to go. And much swearing happens in that 1 hour, which is odd because I don't usually swear. But when you keep reading the manual and doing things EXACTLY like the manual says and it still won't work, it gets frustrating. So every time I need to put more thread on my machine, I stop working on my quilt for about 3 weeks because I don't want to try rethreading it again... (2) Sewing at my sewing machine hurts my neck. I think I need a shorter chair, but I am too Dutch to buy one. I can only sew for about 1 hour before my neck is so sore that I get a headache and I usually have to take a shower for the pain. Sewing shouldn't hurt!

Hmm...what else have we been up to? We are getting more and more excited about moving to South Carolina. We wish we could move now. But we are probably putting our house up for sale later this fall, so the excitement from that should hopefully help.  Also, I got this exciting news from a teaching associate about a job at MATC, a Milwaukee Community College that I have always wanted to work at (they pay AMAZING). So I applied for the job and had references and vocal support from this teaching associate, who works there and has good connections. 30 minutes after I applied online, they called me and told me to fix something on my application. I figured this was all great news that really hinted that I would get the job. However, currently, I have not heard from them again. I am not sure what happened. But God knows what He is doing in my life. But that was a crazy two day adventure, where I was certain that I would be teaching two more history courses this semester and I only would have had three days to prepare for them! Yikes! Maybe it's a good thing I didn't have to go through all of that stress. In the meantime, I teach the 'same ole same ole' so that means that I don't have much to prepare. It also means that I will probably have plenty of time on my hands this fall. I am currently looking at volunteering at a local urban farm. It would be fun and it would allow me to garden during the fall when my plants would be starting to die (that is, the ones that I don't cut down for drying). It's a hydroponics garden and it's indoors, so they are open all year round. AND they use fish to fertilize their products and sell those as well. So I could be surrounded by fish and plants. Sounds like heaven. :)

Other than that, here are some things that I am looking forward to:
*Going to a Scottish Highland Festival with Rick and Julie
*Having Julie come visit! (EEK!)
*Having Paul's parents visit
*Having Rick's brothers visit
*Having my parents visit

In case you can't tell, it's gonna be a crazy month! :)

I really don't understand people sometimes

Over the past few years, I have been having getting very frustrated with people due to what they say during our conversations. Maybe it's because I am a mature adult who considers other people's feelings and use perception to see how people react to my words, while other people just say whatever they want, even if it's very rude. It's not just rude things, either, but how people don't recognize their mistakes in conversation AND FIX THEM. Here are a bunch of examples. I am sure there are more, but these are the ones that really, really bug me:

1) The Press-Me-Constantly-About-My-Name Conversation:

    Person: "Hi Cris, nice to meet you. What's your REAL name?"
    Me: "I go by the name Cris"
    Person: "Ha ha, no really, what's your real name?"

This goes on and on until I finally cave and say my name once. I then say: "Don't ever call me that though because I go by the name Cris" There are two different responses that I get to this EVERY TIME: (a) "Okay, sure, CRYSTAL...ha ha" (b) "Why don't you like your real name? It's SO beautiful!"

Okay, WHY does this ever even have to come up? If I introduce myself as 'Cris', why do you even care about the details of my birth name? Just call me 'Cris' and leave it at that. When YOU introduce yourself to me, I never say: "Can you please tell me your first, middle, and last names? What's your social security number? Your date of birth?" Etc. Because these details don't matter. All that matters is that I am honoring you with my name, so that we can get to know each other and perhaps become friends. By pressing me for this pointless information, it tells me that you are pushy, nosy, and not worth the hassle of getting to know.

Also, if option b happens, this is frustrating too. WHAT on earth are you expecting as my reaction?!? I don't understand. Are you expecting me to say: "Really? You think my full name is beautiful? Golly, thanks! I will start going by that name now instead of 'Cris'! Thanks for making me realize all of this! Wow!" I am not going to say this. WHY are you bothering complimenting a name that I clearly dislike? Just call me 'Cris' and leave the whole thing alone.


2) The Constant-Correction-Of-My-Name Conversation.

Let me start by saying that I am guilty of this sometimes. But here is where I am different from others: When I make a mistake about your name, I apologize and think about it over and over and feel really bad and I NEVER MAKE THE MISTAKE AGAIN!

An example: One time at Christmas, I called one of my cousins by his childhood name, 'Nicky'. He was just becoming a teenager at the time and he responded shortly to me: "I go by 'Nick' now." I immediately apologized and felt terrible about it. When I got home that day, I looked at his picture and said "Nick. Nick. Nick. Etc." Over and over and over and over, until I stopped seeing him in my head as 'Nicky' anymore. Clearly, this was something that was important to him, so I did everything that I could to respect that. Now, every time I see him, I call him 'Nick'. I am pretty sure that I will never make that mistake again. I don't know if he realizes it, but it's still important to ME that I never offend someone that is important to me.

Here's where it gets frustrating: People don't seem to take the time to care for ME the way that I care for them. I still have countless people in my life that call me by my full name. They are my friends on facebook, which clearly states my name as 'Cris'. They are both friends and family members, who get letters and presents from me with my name clearly stated as 'Cris'. They are people who constantly get corrected by me, first politely, then more and more coldly. They never seem to learn. I don't understand it. WHY don't these people care for me the way that I care for them? WHY don't these people try to fix their mistakes? If anyone has an idea or theory, let me know. Because every time someone close to me calls me by my full name, I think they don't care for my feelings the way that I care about theirs. And it hurts.

This is where I will give a shout-out to my husband Paul. When we were friends in high school, he never asked me about my preference for 'Cris'. To this day, he has never called me by my full name. At our wedding, he told the pastor that he was calling me 'Cris'. The pastor tried to explain that legally he needed to say my full name just once, and Paul refused. I love him so much for never, ever, trying to change me or push me about something that I am very sensitive about. :)

3) The Kid-Conversation

There are a few different ways that kids are brought up to me and Paul in conversation: (a) Why don't you have kids yet? (b) When are you having kids? (c) Why aren't you interested in having kids?

All three of these questions are incredibly rude. This topic is something private and intimate for the couple only. Even if you are a family member, it is NONE of your business until we approach it and tell you of our own free will. For example, we took both sets of parents aside early on and told them that we were never having children. End of story. But why do strangers, siblings, distant relatives, friends, acquaintances, etc. think that they have the right to ask us these private questions?!? What if I was unable to have kids or was having multiple miscarriages? Neither is true, but if it WAS, your questions could break my heart. If you think about it, there is no way at all that these questions can have a positive outcome. They are, plain and simple, terribly inconsiderate questions. You should be ashamed of yourselves for asking ANYONE these things. And yet, I get asked these questions all of the time. I cannot believe that so many people in this world are so rude and/or don't think about other people when they open their big mouths.


4) The Try-To-Convince-Me-To-Have-Kids Conversation

Person: "But children are a gift from God!!!"
Okay, what on earth do you expect to hear as my reaction to this!?!? ARGH. You would not believe how many times I hear this argument. I always wonder what you expect from me. Do you really think that this simple, not-even-really-an-argument line is going to change our opinions?!? Do you expect me to react by having my eyes get wide and say: "Golly. Wow! Really? Paul, did you hear? A gift from God! Oh my goodness, well, that changes everything! Golly, Golly, Golly! I am going to have SO many babies now!"

Sorry to burst your bubble, but I am not going to say that. I am not a stupid, foolish, impulsive person. I am a mature adult. Paul and I have had many, MANY conversations about children and those conversations are none of your business. At the end of every one of those conversations, we strongly, 100% agreed that we were not interested in having kids. So leave us alone. Stop trying to convince us otherwise. Why can't we be the best aunt and uncle ever and leave it at that?

Do you see me going up to people that have kids and doing the opposite: "WHY did you decide to have kids? Don't you know that kids are expensive? Etc." If I did that, it would be pretty dang rude, wouldn't it? So why do people think that it's okay to do the opposite?!? I wish that I could say that only strangers and acquaintances did this. However, even close family members and friends think that they have good arguments to change our minds. Please, I am begging you. STOP asking us about kids! I have a WHOLE list of reasons why I do not want to have kids, and you know what? I am not going to share them with people because I don't want to offend people who have kids or want to have kids. If I don't want to offend YOU, can't you do me the same courtesy and try not to offend US? Can't we all be mature, perceptive adults?

5) The How-Old-Are-You-Exactly Conversation.
I do not understand our culture and its' obsession with age. WHY does it matter to know EXACTLY how old I am? I understand the government and doctors need to know my date of birth. But why do other people care? I know so many people who go on and on and on about the ages of everyone in the group:
A) "You are two years older than me, and I still hang out with you! How crazy" (Why does this matter? After high school, everyone is about the same maturity level. Age doesn't matter anymore!)

B) Person: "How old are you, Cris?"
     Me: "I am in my twenties"
     Person: "Ha ha, no really. How old are you?"
     Me: "I actually don't know anymore. I stopped keeping track when I turned 18"
     Person: "Ha ha. What year were you born?"
     Me: "It doesn't matter."
     Person: "No really. I need to know how old you are..."
They will keep pressing like annoying little pests until I cave. I usually say that I am 18, so they go to Paul or Rick, ask for their age, and assume that I am the same age as them. This pisses me off so much. Clearly, I do not want to know my age. Clearly, I think this conversation is rude and I try to make a joke out of it. Clearly, I think your obsession with knowing exactly how old I am is stupid. Yet you do not rest until you know. WHY? WHY does this matter so much to you? Just shut up about it and LEAVE ME ALONE.

C) I get facebook messages AND birthday cards in which people say "Happy ##st Birthday!" I write back or call and say: "I do not care to know exactly how old I am. So please stop doing this. They ignore my requests and keep doing it! I throw away their cards and delete their facebook messages. They write new ones! WHY do they think this is funny?!? You are being rude and mean. You are not funny. I am not pleased. When you do this, I feel like excluding you from my life permanently because you clearly do not care about my feelings.

I do not understand people's obsession with age. I figure that I am as young as I feel and as young as I want to be. When you hurl exact numbers at me, you make me feel depressed about being old and make me depressed because you clearly do not care about my feelings. STOP being so mean to me! Why would you want to be mean to people that you care about? I don't understand.



Okay, whew. I no longer feel like punching the next person I meet who makes these mistakes. I feel better just getting it all out in this blog. If you are reading this post and find yourself guilty of any of these things, to me or to other people, if possible, can you explain why it happens? I simply cannot understand why people say these kind of things to other people. I would love to understand, so if you have any ideas, please share them.

Thanks for reading! :)

Why do I want to move to South Carolina?

People keep asking me why Paul and I want to move to South Carolina. So I thought I would make a long list of reasons. I am sure there are more, but this is a good start:

1) It's not crappy Wisconsin! We hate it here so much. I should make a list of 'why I hate Wisconsin' someday...

2) We love the idea that we can fish almost all year round, instead of up here in the north, where the lakes freeze over (we think ice fishing is lame)

3) Upstate South Carolina (where we want to live) has mountains for us to go on hikes! I can't wait to live minutes from excellent hiking conditions. (Here in Milwaukee, I can't even go for a walk around the block by myself because there are too many creepy people)

4) In Upstate SC, we can live on lakefront property for relatively cheap (and catch 50 pound striper bass every day!) AND we can fish on the ocean with relative ease (it's only 3.5 hours away)

5) Paul has always wanted to live somewhere without snow. I love snow, but it DOES result in less fishing. It was difficult for me to agree to move somewhere where I can't shovel snow, but fishing always wins. :)

6) Paul has family members living in the area, so we can actually live by family again! And my parents have always wanted to move to SC, so hopefully when we move down there, they won't be far behind. And my brother Jim and his fiance' are thinking about moving to the Carolinas someday, so we might live by them as well! I can't stand being alone in this awful state. I love family.

7) Our best friends (at least Kyle and Rick, still working on Kevin/Amanda...) are willing to move to SC with us due to the weather and fishing conditions. :)

8) There are teaching jobs available in the Carolinas! I would gladly move to Michigan if there were teaching jobs AND we could fish all year long. Sorry Michigan, SC has you beat.

9) There is a good herb community in the Carolinas! I have been obsessed with gardening and studying the cooking and medicinal potential of herbs, and there are many schools and clubs in the Carolinas that focus on herbs. I can't wait to learn more and get connected!

10) There are multiple 'active young people' clubs available to join in Upstate SC. We can join a casual hiking group, a canoeing group, etc.

11) There are not many fishing guides in Upstate SC, and Paul senses an opening there that he can possibly fill. He has always wanted to be a fishing guide...

Well, that's all I can think of right now. We are so excited to  live somewhere where we can be more active and social. I can't wait!