Tuesday, August 24, 2010

My Fall Schedule

For the first time ever, I have an actual, official job! Woo hoo! See you later, unbelievably long and tiresome homework assignments! No more being haunted day and night about homework, and feeling homework guilt during my rest times! No more nightmares about pleasing the professors and worrying about getting those well-deserved 'A's'.
For the first time ever, I took a huge risk and quit that horrid grad school without a back-up plan. I trusted God and as always, He took care of me.
I have signed the contracts, and for this semester, I am teaching:
History 103 (Ancient Roots of Western Civilization) at Carroll University
*and*
Three classes at University of Phoenix:
Two courses of Humanities 186 (Media Influences on American Culture)
One course of Humanities 105 (World Mythology)

This is huge for me. I am teaching college! My dream, my goal for the last 8-10ish years, has finally come true. Granted, I will always be concerned about not getting enough classes each semester, but right now, I am just incredibly thankful to God for letting my dreams come true. I think the Life Lesson here is that if you want something enough, if you work hard at that goal and trust God completely, anything is possible. :)

It should be a pretty good work load for me. The first time teaching a class is always the hardest. Then, after that, you have lesson plans to work off of. I think if I work hard from approx. 9-3pm everyday (Monday-Friday), all of my work should get done. Then I can *gasp* have weekends off and nights off doing hobbies and hanging out with my hubby and friends! Woo hoo!

Saturday, August 14, 2010

Fueled and Ready

Well, it's been too long again. That's because I've been busy again. Sigh...someday, I hope I can write a blog in here about how boring life is and how everything is going by really slow. :)

Anyway, We did our annual camping trip, interspersed with taking care of my mother who had foot surgery and other social events. I went sailing alot this year as well as daily playing volleyball and swimming and board games! It was wonderful. We went to a terrific church service: with organ music! and a psalter hymnal! and the lord's prayer! and the apostle's creed! and *gasp* a beautiful communion service!
Being back in Michigan was just so refreshing. I didn't realize how...empty I've been since moving to Milwaukee:
**Spiritually:
Since moving to Milwaukee, I have been disgruntled in some way at every service at every church we have visited. Then I would feel guilty about being disgruntled. Then we would give up trying churches. Then we would feel guilty. Then we would go to a new service. And the cycle would continue. I haven't had communion since moving to Milwaukee because they do not appreciate the sacred and sovereign nature of this ritual. The services here either have the theory: "Come on up during a song, get in line, and just grab some stuff and go!" or "Communion is available whenever you want, it's on that table in the corner. Just get up and grab some and go!" Ugh. At the Michigan service, it was just like it should be: elders and deacons were given the trays from the pastor, chosen for their spirituality to do this special task. After the pastor said beautiful words from the Bible *gasp* about the importance of the Lord's Supper, the bread and drink were passed solemnly to all of God's people, with plenty of time for silent prayer in between and followed by the apostle's creed. Sigh...how beautiful. The service made me realize that I had been "running on fumes" for way too long. Suddenly, I went from fumes to overflowing with the Holy Spirit! It was overwhelming. It was beautiful. I cried multiple times that day and I smiled more than I have in a very long time. I want that again! I don't want to wait to feel the tingle of the Holy Spirit coursing through my entire body. It is such an overpowering feeling of wonder!
**Emotionally:
The culture is so different in Michigan from Milwaukee. In Milwaukee, I always feel so...lonely. No one cares about me. No one here asks me about my day. When I ask them about theirs, sometimes they ask me about mine in return. However, the moment I start talking about myself, they stop paying attention. It is so rude. It hurts every time. The only person who ever made me feel appreciated here in Milwaukee was from the south! And she couldn't stand it anymore and promptly moved back! I hate how lonely I am here. I hate how no one cares. In addition, no one in Milwaukee accepts me for who I am. I am: Passionate, loving, stubborn, opinionated, loyal, and observant. When I am myself, people ALWAYS get annoyed in Milwaukee! But they don't tell me. They just stop talking to me in mid-sentence and get all cold and bitchy. HOWEVER, in Michigan, people always ask me about my life! I even got to the point where I was sick of talking about myself over and over! Sigh...what a wonderful complaint to have: too many people cared about me! About my interests, my job, my goals! They listened! They asked questions! They showed me love and respect! And most of them love me for who I am! They support me and love me even though I am so stubborn and opinionated! I acted like myself and people smiled and hugged me and told me that they love me!
**Physically: Paul and I had so many people to play sports with over here in Michigan! It was so nice to be active: NO ONE wanted to just hang out in bars. In fact, no one talked about bars at all!

It was so wonderful to fill up spiritually, emotionally, and physically in Michigan. It was so hard to come back. I already feel lonely again. I miss my loved ones. I hope the next place we live is better. I wish I could just take everyone I love from Michigan with me wherever I go. :)
I suppose my prayer requests should be mentioned here: (1): I pray that God will allow Paul and I to find a good church around here...even though we haven't yet after living here for three years. (2): I pray that God will allow us to meet kind, loving people to become our close friends. I want to have best friends here so bad. I want to be able to be myself. And still be loved! (3): I pray that if God lets us meet new people, that these people love staying active like we do: it leads to so much healthier of a lifestyle!

Well, I had more to say, so I will write again soon. I promise. :)
~Raven